The thing that most troubles me these days is the fact that I seem to not have any direction in my life.
Now, this isn't to say that I'm floundering, but I would also say that I'm not thriving as well as I can be.
But on whose terms?
I know that the only person's terms it should be on is God's, but we're all - for the most part - guilty of either trying to make our own terms - or even worse, the world's.
By being involved in endurance sports, I'm around lots of people who have lots of goals for various reasons.
While I enjoy getting out and participating -- both running and announcing, their goals just don't have the same meaning to me -- and I'm not sure that I have any!
My plan this weekend was to go to Oklahoma and catch minor league baseball games in Oklahoma City, Tulsa and Springfield, Missouri.
I was to fly in to Tulsa, drive to Oklahoma City for a Friday night contest, run a 5K in Moore on Saturday and then a college baseball game at Oral Roberts Saturday followed by minor league games in Tulsa and Springfield that same night and the following afternoon.
I'm tired just typing it out again.
As I drove home from work on Thursday night, I pulled over in Navasota and called Hilton to see if I could get the points from my two reservations put back into my account.
If I had been denied, I would have made the trip.
But it was 10 p.m., I was beat and I was still an hour from home.
I would have needed to take my work rental car back to the airport (which is a minimum hour and a half round trip), pick up my car and then drive to Hobby to catch a flight on Southwest to Tulsa.
I bit off more than I could chew.
Once I got home, I cancelled my flight on Southwest, banked the $251 fare and decided to stay home.
I needed to get a tax return in the mail before Tuesday's deadline and I had learned during the week that I could actually use Fed Ex or UPS to get it there instead of blindly trusting the U.S. Postal Service.
That was the biggest thing that was on my mind as I would have been throwing away a lot of money if it didn't make it there in time.
I got it taken care of and out of the way Friday afternoon, but I was like: "What am I going to do now?"
I could have very easily taken some time off over the weekend to just relax and read, but that would have been too easy.
Waverly and I went out for an early dinner at Cheddar's as I got caught up on her week at school. She was planning on going in the morning to run with Bill's group for a few miles and then taking part of Run The Woodlands 5K and running with a young person that she used to baby-sit from North Park Baptist Church.
I woke up Saturday morning at 4'ish and knew that I needed to get on the road soon to wherever.
There were lots of 5K's I could have gone to, including one or two in towns that I hadn't run in before as well as the Davy Crockett Bear Chase in Groveton.
However, the time that I got out the door would have made making it for the 7 a.m. start a push.
Therefore, it was off to Brenham for the Blue Bell Fun Run so I could run in their inaugural half marathon.
A nice $65 walk-up price and the chance to visit with a friend before the race that I don't get to see that often were two of the biggest benefits from the morning.
Saw many, many friends and acquaintances including Raul Najera with RunFar USA, John and Tinette Yoder, Alfredo and Lettie Gonzalez, Alfonso Torres and Lucia Gentry.
The half marathon course was tough, but the event not having a mile one water station and the 5-mile station being out of fluids really set my temperment off in a not-so-good direction out on the course.
And to add insult to injury, there was a gentleman that had an external sound system on him while he ran.
I just don't like them and feel like you should have headphones so that you can listen to what you want all by yourself -- and not to force it on to everybody else.
I guessed it helped me to a 2:20:46 finish. Not bad for not having the miles on my legs as well as it being "not so flat'.
42nd best finish of 136 half marathons. That means I’ve run a lot of crappy times, for me.
Saw many friends after the race, including Seven Hills Running Club’s Ken Johnson and Cindy Pate. Got a nice shout-out coming down the “hill” to the finish from Steve Allen. Given everything recently, I really needed that “shout out”. I appreciated it and posted so in the club Facebook page.
Water stations on the half course were a major issue and I’m glad that I have a friend, Becky Nesbitt, who I know is friends with the race directors, to share my discontent with. She was gracious in listening to me and that’s all I’ll share about it as I know it will be taken care of.
I came back and I’m not sure how productive I was the rest of the day.
I had some profiles that I needed to get done for Bill’s group, but my creative energies had left the building in the middle of last week.
Multiple options presented themselves to me for Sunday. They included 1.) Stephen F. Austin State at Houston Baptist softball at 2 p.m., 2.) Stephen F. Austin State at Sam Houston State baseball at 1 p.m. or 3.) University of Kentucky at Texas A&M University at 2 p.m.
I would end up going to church somewhere, regardless of which one I chose.
If I stayed and went to HBU, probably would have gone to the Church Project.
If I went to the Sam Houston State game, I would have visited University Heights Baptist Church in Huntsville.
But the fact that A&M was playing the final game in their current facility intrigued me and sealed the deal.
I had also been wanting to visit Central Baptist Church in College Station.
Same thing as Saturday, I got up just in time to be able to leave to make it to church for their only 9:45 a.m. worship service.
It is a larger church with a contemporary service that included a song out of the “virtual” hymnal – i.e. a little bit traditional, and old you might say.
The only drawback to me was that there were six songs. I checked out after four, looking for the Pastor Chris Osborne to come up and start sharing the message after each remaining song.
They were dedicating and opening a new children’s building and a significant amount of time was spent at the end of the service recognizing those who had contributed and speaking about the goals of reaching children for Jesus Christ.
Then it was off to the A&M campus to catch the SEC softball contest.
I left after five innings with the score tied, 2-2. The University of Kentucky would score in the top of the sixth to avoid a sweep by the Aggies and win 3-2.
After getting back home, Waverly and I had our weekly meal together on Sunday evening at Guadalajara and got caught up on the week past.
When she was at Liberty, Sunday evening at 6 p.m. Central time was our time to speak – a tradition that I cherish and now hate to miss even more, if possible.
So a lot of good stuff? Sure.
But still I navigate through the throes of “What do I need to do?” and “What do I want to do?” on a regular basis, and it is tough when there doesn’t seem to be enough to satisfy the thirst of the latter question.
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