Forgiveness; May 6, 2021

A friend wrote to me last Saturday, "You did not try to extend grace and undeserved forgiveness, you did extend grace and forgiveness!  It was not accepted but you have no control over that and to be honest, based on their personality we should not be surprised.  However, it is still surprising to people like you and me because we can not fathom acting that way.  

"I am glad you have a book on forgiveness.  I have read and studied forgiveness a lot.  The most important thing that I have learned is that forgiveness is for you and not for them.  Most of the time it is undeserved and most importantly it is a command from God to forgive others.  Forgiveness will also help get you out of the cloud and on your way to freedom."

The book that I recently purchased on forgiveness is "The Gift of Forgiveness:  Inspiring Stories from Those Who Have Overcome the Unforgivable".

I just finished chapter three about Sarah Klein, who had been abused the longest by Michigan State gymnastics trainer Larry Nassar.  The chapter, however, started with a quote from a Bryant McGill. 

It read, "Forgiveness has nothing whatsoever to do with how wrong someone else was; no matter how evil, cruel, narcissistic, or unrepentant they are.  When you forgive a person, you break the ties with their ill deeds that keep you in anguish."

I've been going through that currently.  

It will still take awhile, but I'm in a much, much better place than a couple of weeks ago.

Klein herself stated on page 30 of the book, the following:

"Just because you forgive somebody doesn't mean you have to reconcile with them and let them back in your world.  You can forgive them and still not be okay with them.  And that distinction helps me forgive, too."

And that's exactly where I'm moving through these days.

I told a different friend last night that it was hard for me to have them run right by me twice during a race last month and not cheer for them or - what I didn't share with them - to take the time on Sunday to wish them Happy Mother's Day.

It's hard, but necessary.