I learned recently that I can engage cordially electronically with people that have wronged me.
However, when I see the individual in the flesh, and there's stuff unresolved - namely why they acted certain ways in certain situations - and they won't address it (or give me the opportunity to ask them why so maybe I can correct something if I did anything), I'm as close as I can be to being physically ill being in the same space as them.
I can't hide it.
I think I get ill because it isn't appropriate for me to reveal to others who, what, where, when and how, but nobody appears to get the same treatment from the person.
A friend shared with me yesterday, "It is so hard for empaths like you and me to not have a relationship or be cordial. It is also hard for us to understand their actions at all."
They added that "I can’t stand to be in the presence of my "problem"." (Word changed to protect the characterization of any individual.)
That's how I felt Sunday morning out at a race.
And it is very hard to keep boundaries to where I would engage with them face-to-face like nothing ever happened.
I tried the "Can we meet to talk about things in person?" back in March and got rebuffed.
So I'm left with no options.
From everything I've read and learned this past year, it is a lack of accountability on their part, of course, and it is likely that they take great joy from this.
The person never directly stated, but equated electronic friendship (on Facebook) as a requirement for an in-person friendship. Quite frankly, it is supposed to be the other way around.
I pray for the individual as much as I can. Not for restoration or anything of the like, but for God to meet this person's and their family's needs.
I wish the individual no ill well. I hope that they flourish and grow, but get healthy in doing so.
I have people praying for me, but if you identify with what I'm dealing with please pray for me.
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