Tap Out Ten; March 27, 2022

I used to do this thing called, "Tap out ten."

Well, I'm bringing it back.

It is just to type out 10 minutes of what transpired during the day.

Today was emotionally rough for me.  It still is as I'm writing here at 11 p.m.

I've never hurt like I do and it seems like nobody other than my friend CK and my daughter really, really care.

As I've said elsewhere today, I've never felt devalued, dehumanized and disrespected more than I did today.

That individual will think I'm weak, but I would call that person a coward, honestly.

They know what they're doing and they don't care.

They give the world the impression that they are good friends with me, but they aren't.

And the thing is is that it seems like everybody either gets the other version of this person or they are fooling everyone else.

I honestly don't know what I've done to deserve all of this.

Again my friend, Amie, said late last year, "Jon, they do not deserve you."

She told me recently, "Walk, you're above reproach.  You have been used by narcissist women, but you've always conducted yourself as a gentleman.  There's no parallel.  

"You know that.  I still want you to hear it."

What I call Narc2 actually in the last week or two followed me on Strava.

Why?

They were the ones that invited me to breakfast after the 2020 Hot Chocolate race - oh, that reminds me I need to deposit their check from January - with a friend and then their date shows up at Ninfa's on Navigation and then acts like they really don't know me that well, asking if Waverly is still in college when they damn well sure that she wasn't.

You can actually go to this blog and read completely what I had to say about today at the Texas 10 Huntsville race -- https://houstonrunning2.blogspot.com/2022/03/trying-to-take-joy-out-of-announcing.html

All I can say is that I hope that that person is happy.

I told my friend, Bill, that I will never ever respect that person.

And, I really hate to give up on anybody.

In other news, I've decided to stay and do my cross country races this year.  I had already walked away from one that I had done the last two years, but the timer that brought me to the table we had a discussion today that I would return.

That means I'll stay for the ones in The Woodlands, Huntsville and Waco.  The latter being TAPPS.

I go to Amarillo this weekend to try to knock off some "mile or more" counties starting early Saturday morning, unless, of course, there's a race.

But I'd like to get at a minimum the 15 counties at the top of the panhandle, basically three rows of five stacked one on top of the other.

And in closing, I'm beat.  Physically and emotionally.

I just ask God to watch over me and heal me now, tomorrow and through the rest of the week and month ahead.