I figured it out.
Yes, I figured out what I did today -- sometime between 4 and 7:30 a.m. this morning, that is.
Perhaps my best friend, Bill, was going to the B-CS Marathon in College Station to support the approximately ten runners in his training group that were running the marathon or half marathon.
I always enjoy the time that I get to spend with him.
And was possibly looking forward to hanging out with him earlier today.
Meanwhile, the 30K in Sugar Land is a race that I announced a couple of years for race director Andy Stewart.
I haven't continued just because I didn't have fun as there were a number of impediments - and absolutely nothing negative on Andy - for me doing the things I do well.
The biggest is Sugar Land's noise ordinance and no amplified sound prior to 7 a.m.
There's a rhythm that eminates from making pre-race announcements into the rest of the day and without being able to do that, it takes a lot of the good feel out of the job that I was doing.
I was meeting and exceeding Andy's expectations, but I didn't enjoy the process with the site logistics.
I had a friend that was participating in it and, of course, I knew many people that were running it.
To be in College Station for the 7 a.m. start, I would had to have been up and leaving shortly after 4 a.m.
And the time logistics were similar for the 30K and its 6:30 a.m. start.
As each half hour passed laying in bed, while still needing more sleep to recover from Friday evening and Saturday's adventures, the goals for the day changed.
At about 7:20 a.m., I realized that I could get up, get showered and make it to The Church Project for their 9 a.m. service.
I texted my friend Leanne and asked if she and her husband Jim were going to be there and she affirmed that they were.
I arrived just before the service started and a few minutes later, a mutual friend, Dawn, showed up.
While I have always enjoyed being in church - and sitting - with my family, especially my daughter, there was a different comfort in worshipping God together with my friends.
Even though I have visited there two or three times before, I had never heard their Pastor speak before and his message didn't disappoint.
It was from John 1 and spoke about how darkness is real, being without Jesus is being in darkness and that our entire life is darkness unless we let Jesus into it.
It supported his point that in this Christmas season that we as believers and followers of Jesus Christ have the light that the world needs - and that we need to share it more than we ever have in the past.
Leanne was adamant about me getting to meet their Pastor and I enjoyed the exchange.
They invited me to go to lunch with them at Cilantro's and as always, we had a great visit. Like Bill, Leanne and Jim are among my very best friends.
I made it home, visited with my daughter for a little bit and then went to a pair of women's college basketball games.
First, I saw East Tennessee State University take on the University of Houston at Texas Southern University's gymnasium as Hofheinz Pavilion is undergoing renovations.
Then I went over to Houston Baptist University to watch them host Huston-Tillotson University, which is located in Austin.
The trip in for ETSU was so that Montgomery HS star Malloree Schurr was able to play in front of family and friends.
That's one of the college basketball traditions that I love.
It was really no contest as UH, which is pretty good this year, easily won a physical 88-69 contest with the Buccaneers.
Over at HBU, the Huskies struggled against Huston-Tillotson, which is a member of the Red River Athletic Conference. (Prior to returning to NCAA Division I athletics, HBU was an RRAC member.)
Huston-Tillotson held the lead early in the third quarter and then later tied it at 70-all before dropping a 76-72 decision to the Huskies.
I then made stops at Barnes & Noble - to pick up a new book after finishing my most recent purchase, "Coach Wooden And Me: Our 50-Year Friendship On and Off The Court", written by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar - and HEB before making it home.
I had dinner, helped Waverly with some HR forms that she needed to complete (more on that in a week or two) and sat down to punch out the content here.
I'm glad I made it to church. I need to be there more often.
If you're willing to allow God to feed your soul, it is a place to be fed, spiritually.
Sunday, December 10, 2017
Saturday, December 9, 2017
What Am I Going To Do Tomorrow?; December 9, 2017
How do you solve the "What do I want to do?" problem?
Or "What makes me happy?" dilemma.
I struggle with these two constantly it seems, but I'm not unhappy or depressed.
It is just that I don't have the same type of drive that others do.
I'm around endurance athletes alot.
I did what I originally set out to do and that was run a marathon. I'd like to get one more in, but I'm thinking that it might not happen in January.
I can live with that. I will support my daughter's effort to do her first completely.
I've finished 54. That's more than some people who would like to finish one have done.
I'm thankful for the resources that I've been given to do those.
But it just doesn't mean anything to me to do an Ironman or qualify for Boston.
I think a large part of it is that in doing some of the things that I enjoy - writing, announcing, promoting others, etc. - my skill set is as strong as there is (when I want to do those things).
Meaning I'm in a higher percentile of those with my same interests.
Again, I'm thankful for those abilities and opportunities to use those skills.
Yet I sit here at 8:30 p.m. and ask myself, "What am I going to do tomorrow?"
Plenty of options, but I can't say that one is going to make me any more happy than the other.
Thus the dilemma.
Today was good. I ran a 5K last night in La Porte, then drove to Lake Charles before the roads possibly froze (not that there was any precipitation or anything).
I ran the Swamp Stomp Half Marathon. I ran OK. I've got some issues I'm trying to figure out.
I was disappointed with the visibility or existence of mile markers on the course.
Never saw three of them before mile 7 (the only one with a sign).
Never saw eight or nine. Time between seven and 10 seemed acceptable, but 15 minutes between 10 and 11? I wasn't walking, which would have produced that.
And 2:31 for the last tenth of a mile? No way.
Drive home was brutal coming across FM 1960 from Atascosita all the way to Cypresswood where I turn to go to my parents.
My grandmother was there. She's 92 and got cleared to travel after some of her recent health challenges. It was great to see her.
My cousin and his wife and their two girls were there.
Waverly came over and spent time playing with Aubree and then we had a good dinner at MOD Pizza over here by the house.
I have nothing to complain about.
I have much, much more than many people.
And with everything, I'm really, really thankful.
Or "What makes me happy?" dilemma.
I struggle with these two constantly it seems, but I'm not unhappy or depressed.
It is just that I don't have the same type of drive that others do.
I'm around endurance athletes alot.
I did what I originally set out to do and that was run a marathon. I'd like to get one more in, but I'm thinking that it might not happen in January.
I can live with that. I will support my daughter's effort to do her first completely.
I've finished 54. That's more than some people who would like to finish one have done.
I'm thankful for the resources that I've been given to do those.
But it just doesn't mean anything to me to do an Ironman or qualify for Boston.
I think a large part of it is that in doing some of the things that I enjoy - writing, announcing, promoting others, etc. - my skill set is as strong as there is (when I want to do those things).
Meaning I'm in a higher percentile of those with my same interests.
Again, I'm thankful for those abilities and opportunities to use those skills.
Yet I sit here at 8:30 p.m. and ask myself, "What am I going to do tomorrow?"
Plenty of options, but I can't say that one is going to make me any more happy than the other.
Thus the dilemma.
Today was good. I ran a 5K last night in La Porte, then drove to Lake Charles before the roads possibly froze (not that there was any precipitation or anything).
I ran the Swamp Stomp Half Marathon. I ran OK. I've got some issues I'm trying to figure out.
I was disappointed with the visibility or existence of mile markers on the course.
Never saw three of them before mile 7 (the only one with a sign).
Never saw eight or nine. Time between seven and 10 seemed acceptable, but 15 minutes between 10 and 11? I wasn't walking, which would have produced that.
And 2:31 for the last tenth of a mile? No way.
Drive home was brutal coming across FM 1960 from Atascosita all the way to Cypresswood where I turn to go to my parents.
My grandmother was there. She's 92 and got cleared to travel after some of her recent health challenges. It was great to see her.
My cousin and his wife and their two girls were there.
Waverly came over and spent time playing with Aubree and then we had a good dinner at MOD Pizza over here by the house.
I have nothing to complain about.
I have much, much more than many people.
And with everything, I'm really, really thankful.
Monday, November 20, 2017
Weekend Musings; November 20, 2017
Sunday I ran a race that I had been part of its event production team for a very long time.
I left the group in July four days after the annual Fourth of July race it puts on. It was over a switch of the finisher's item that runners would receive for completing three of its races.
To me, it was bait and switch and I couldn't stand with a microphone in my hand and extol the virtues of the organization with that business behavior.
Secondarily, I didn't know about it ahead of time.
And when I raised the issue of it being "bait and switch" I was told that I "think too much" and that if people wanted refunds they would be granted them.
It was just a cavalier attitude that wasn't consistent with who I am - and the things that I stand for.
I signed up to run with an individual that is a respected leader in our running communities as he moves closer to his 1,000th race finish and 101 half marathons to go with his 101 marathons.
However, he was sick and couldn't make it on race day.
I chuckled, though, five minutes before the start when the race announcer, who had taken my place, was going through all of his accomplishments without even confirming that he had shown up.
Since I was the last one to cross the start line, I knew that some point in the race I would come in contact with an individual that it would be good to have a conversation with.
It came within mile one.
I could have ignored the individual and later claimed that I never saw them. That, of course, would have been a lie.
I could have just said "Hi!' and kept running. I thought about this and it probably would have been OK.
I ran up behind and to the right of her and joked about it being bad karma to wear the race giveaways on race day before finishing the race.
Long story short, over the next twelve and a half miles, our discussion covered a lot of ground and it was a good one to have.
I'm glad that I made the effort and I'm thankful of her willingness to share and be friendly - and to forgive me of any errors.
Within the next 24 hours, I cleared the way on my end for communications via Facebook.
They sent me a friend request and I accepted it; however, I pretty much immediately unfollowed.
Am glad they're happy, but there's things that I just don't want to see.
They're "great people", but a particular line was crossed regarding feelings through it all and it isn't one that I can easily come back from.
Back to the race, I started last so as to not attempt to draw any attention to myself, given that I had worked with the team before.
The initial plan was for me to announce right up to the start time of all three races and then run them as this was the year that I turned 50.
I saw numerous people that I knew out on the course.
Really got the biggest kick out of my friend at the first water station near the race's finish. I always get a hug from her when we see each other.
She's very empathetic to my personal situation, and I appreciate it.
There were some folks that were surprised to see me, including the producing organization's CPA. He was one of the strongest in saying how much I was missed.
I really appreciated that too.
Obviously, people didn't know the reason why.
Others were like, "Why weren't you announcing today?"
I looked to give my medal to somebody from the team who just comes out and does what needs to get done without any fanfare, but they didn't appear to be there.
I'll have to figure out how to get it to them sometime soon.
And finally, I was appreciative of the individual who walked back to the parking lot with me.
One runner commented on a Facebook post, "It's always good to see you running and not announcing. I'm glad you left the fun to somebody else."
I responded with, "Even though I announce better than I run, I enjoy putting on a bib as much as you do."
And that's the truth!
Looks like I'll sign up for the 25K on Sunday.
I did, but missed the HARRA discount code in the HARRA weekly e-mail because Houston Masters Sports Association doesn't state on its website that it is where it is going to be.
Again, I'm thankful that I have the money to do these types of things, but it is just a shame that you can't go to the race web site and get an explanation of everything that's needed to know.
It also wasn't explicitly in the Constant Contact mailer that HMSA sent out.
Otherwise, the weekend was pretty good with doing the broadcast with Dan Morgan over the Lone Star Christian Sports Network and the Texas Sports Radio Network of Houston St. Pius X and San Antonio Antonian on Friday night, then announcing the NXN South Regional at Bear Branch Sports Park in The Woodlands on Saturday morning.
Was very thankful for my daughter cooking me dinner Saturday night before Sunday's race and then enjoyed her company for a meal Sunday evening before we went and visited my Mom.
I left the group in July four days after the annual Fourth of July race it puts on. It was over a switch of the finisher's item that runners would receive for completing three of its races.
To me, it was bait and switch and I couldn't stand with a microphone in my hand and extol the virtues of the organization with that business behavior.
Secondarily, I didn't know about it ahead of time.
And when I raised the issue of it being "bait and switch" I was told that I "think too much" and that if people wanted refunds they would be granted them.
It was just a cavalier attitude that wasn't consistent with who I am - and the things that I stand for.
I signed up to run with an individual that is a respected leader in our running communities as he moves closer to his 1,000th race finish and 101 half marathons to go with his 101 marathons.
However, he was sick and couldn't make it on race day.
I chuckled, though, five minutes before the start when the race announcer, who had taken my place, was going through all of his accomplishments without even confirming that he had shown up.
Since I was the last one to cross the start line, I knew that some point in the race I would come in contact with an individual that it would be good to have a conversation with.
It came within mile one.
I could have ignored the individual and later claimed that I never saw them. That, of course, would have been a lie.
I could have just said "Hi!' and kept running. I thought about this and it probably would have been OK.
I ran up behind and to the right of her and joked about it being bad karma to wear the race giveaways on race day before finishing the race.
Long story short, over the next twelve and a half miles, our discussion covered a lot of ground and it was a good one to have.
I'm glad that I made the effort and I'm thankful of her willingness to share and be friendly - and to forgive me of any errors.
Within the next 24 hours, I cleared the way on my end for communications via Facebook.
They sent me a friend request and I accepted it; however, I pretty much immediately unfollowed.
Am glad they're happy, but there's things that I just don't want to see.
They're "great people", but a particular line was crossed regarding feelings through it all and it isn't one that I can easily come back from.
Back to the race, I started last so as to not attempt to draw any attention to myself, given that I had worked with the team before.
The initial plan was for me to announce right up to the start time of all three races and then run them as this was the year that I turned 50.
I saw numerous people that I knew out on the course.
Really got the biggest kick out of my friend at the first water station near the race's finish. I always get a hug from her when we see each other.
She's very empathetic to my personal situation, and I appreciate it.
There were some folks that were surprised to see me, including the producing organization's CPA. He was one of the strongest in saying how much I was missed.
I really appreciated that too.
Obviously, people didn't know the reason why.
Others were like, "Why weren't you announcing today?"
I looked to give my medal to somebody from the team who just comes out and does what needs to get done without any fanfare, but they didn't appear to be there.
I'll have to figure out how to get it to them sometime soon.
And finally, I was appreciative of the individual who walked back to the parking lot with me.
One runner commented on a Facebook post, "It's always good to see you running and not announcing. I'm glad you left the fun to somebody else."
I responded with, "Even though I announce better than I run, I enjoy putting on a bib as much as you do."
And that's the truth!
Looks like I'll sign up for the 25K on Sunday.
I did, but missed the HARRA discount code in the HARRA weekly e-mail because Houston Masters Sports Association doesn't state on its website that it is where it is going to be.
Again, I'm thankful that I have the money to do these types of things, but it is just a shame that you can't go to the race web site and get an explanation of everything that's needed to know.
It also wasn't explicitly in the Constant Contact mailer that HMSA sent out.
Otherwise, the weekend was pretty good with doing the broadcast with Dan Morgan over the Lone Star Christian Sports Network and the Texas Sports Radio Network of Houston St. Pius X and San Antonio Antonian on Friday night, then announcing the NXN South Regional at Bear Branch Sports Park in The Woodlands on Saturday morning.
Was very thankful for my daughter cooking me dinner Saturday night before Sunday's race and then enjoyed her company for a meal Sunday evening before we went and visited my Mom.
Saturday, October 14, 2017
Race Day Reflections: Post Race Ten For Texas
I’m a very fortunate individual and often times, it takes a little time to kind of decompress and take account of the day’s good fortunes.
I didn’t stumble on a pile of money. No, something much greater actually.
Just a realization of all of the great experiences, opportunities and people that God placed in my path today.
I believe that we let our lives become so busy that we don’t take the opportunity to reflect upon the goodness of life that we sometimes miss in appreciating.
After Waverly and I went to get breakfast at The Egg and I after this morning’s race (Memorial Hermann Ten For Texas in The Woodlands), I came home and napped for a little more than three hours.
It was much needed after a long drive home from Decatur Thursday evening and a busy day of work, preparing to announce today’s race and covering Texas private and parochial high school athletics in the late evening.
However, when I got awake and checked my phone like so many of us do, I saw a post on Facebook from my Mom, who is back in Pennsylvania with my Dad to visit my 92-year-old grandmother, that her brother Fisher had passed away earlier on Saturday afternoon.
As I write, I don’t yet know all of the details, but my Mom is from a family of ten.
Seven of her siblings had passed on before. Well, one of those seven – Tommy – actually nobody is quite sure because the family hadn’t heard from him in decades.
I share this not from sympathy for me – although my Mom and her family’s relatives would certainly covet your prayers, but rather to explain how we believe.
While I have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior – something that I don’t share as much as I need to, and have to make an effort to have the personal relationship with Him, at times, I have questions that could best be interpreted as doubts.
Yet, most of those times, my doubts are put to rest when I see events unfold as I did today.
My parents simply went back to Pennsylvania three Wednesdays ago to visit my grandmother.
However, as they were a day or two from leaving to return this past Wednesday, my grandmother’s heart rate had fallen to 40 and while not in distress, she went to the hospital and was admitted.
They put in a pacemaker, but my parents changed their flight to return this coming Wednesday.
During their first two weeks back, my Mom went to see her brother before he passed today.
I believe that God puts us into positions that we can only explain are as a result of His direction in all of our lives.
While my Mom was there for my grandmother, she was able to see her brother what proved to be one last time before he passed – and had she not gone into the hospital she wouldn’t have been able to be back in our family’s hometown when he did.
Earlier today, I spoke with a fellow endurance sports athlete Peter Bardenhagen near the finish line of today’s race. All of the runners from both the 10-miler and the 5K had left the start line area and were running their races.
It gave us about 20 minutes to carry on a great conversation.
Peter complemented my daughter, Waverly, who when the previously scheduled National Anthem singer didn’t show she stepped up and sang it today so very well.
As I spoke briefly about her, I explained that there was a moment that I realized that Waverly possessed a certain God-given ability to where I had the confidence that she could handle the moment that she did today.
It was of a young woman in our endurance sports community who had a special needs child who passed away more than six years ago before her ninth birthday.
I was friends with that woman at that time and she had asked me to lead her daughter’s memorial service and for Waverly, just a sophomore then, to sing.
I shared with Peter that I saw Waverly step up to the platform in front of a packed chapel of about 300 people, including the young girl’s classmates.
She placed sheet music – on the podium - with notes that had been marked after practicing the song with her Choir Director at Spring High School, as she needed to sing the song in a different key.
And she did so very well, even reaching down – in mid-song – for a tissue (which in the moment I thought she was needing because she became emotional but rather it was) to dab a running nose.
In that moment, I believed that she had a special “it” to be able to handle a pressure situation and perform with such poise.
What I didn’t know is that three years to the day, January 17, 2014, my sister would pass away and Waverly and I would need to perform the same roles in the midst of a storm with our family.
In 2011, we simply believed that God allowed for us to use our talents that He gave to us to comfort and help bring peace to a hurting family and friends, but He was preparing us for a day that we didn’t know soon would come.
It is times like these that we don’t often take the time to give God the glory in those abilities – and opportunities.
Waverly never goes to a race expecting to sing, despite what one race director this year believed.
And, in fact, there have been times – short of a pinch of a situation like today – that she’s either not been interested in singing or she just wasn’t feeling that she could do her best.
I’ve always appreciated her honesty in communicating effectively with me.
Yet we both know, especially with me announcing, that it allows – for a short period of time remaining – for us to share the Gospel in a soft, unobtrusive way with saying, “here to sing our National Anthem, Liberty University graduate Miss Waverly Walk from Spring.”
Many believers know that Liberty University is a Christian university.
Many who do not believe or have not heard the Gospel message may also have never heard of Liberty – and by hearing it today on race day, maybe they’ll see the commercials on TV for the University or Google it online when it crosses their mind.
We have to be willing to be ready to give witness when called upon or put ourselves in a position for God to take and use our effort to reach more for Jesus Christ.
I also had the opportunities to have two meals with my daughter today and we spend this time to reflect and discuss a lot of this – and these types of things.
The one thing that we’re both placed in is situations where people place a lot of trust not just in our abilities, but rather how we handle ourselves.
While, for example, I got paid as part of the race’s budget for the services I provided, The Township staff still places an incredible amount of trust in me to use wisely discern many different situations and to do so extemporaneously.
I’m honored and humbled by the responsibility and trust placed in me.
Because I don’t have to be micro-managed, and am more than just a voice, it frees the team up to handle other situations.
I think people hear my voice on race day and see one thing, but there’s a lot more to what I do.
I was especially pleased that aside from two situations where The Township needed to ensure that the courses were totally clear, we basically got the races started on time and without major issue.
We had to juggle a little bit during the awards today, but let me provide a little bit of a background.
I certainly understand that athletes want to get their awards and go.
I also appreciated that it got hot today too
All of The Township races have an opportunity for a member of the Board of Directors to be represented.
At Muddy Trails back in April and today at Ten For Texas, it was Director Laura Fillault.
We also had the on-site representative from Memorial Hermann The Woodlands Medical Center, Linda Nelson.
While we wanted to get the 5K awards going first, we wanted to make sure that we had a picture opportunity for the sponsor and The Township’s benefit with our 10-Mile overall winners before Laura and Linda departed.
Then we shifted to the 5K awards. We handled the overall, the masters and the grandmasters and were starting to work our way down the list starting with our most experienced athletes first – and there were 10-year age groups instead of five-year.
We had the timer reprint them, but in the meantime, transitioned over to the 10-Mile awards.
It pays to be able to adjust on the fly, keep things moving and to balance between adequately recognizing the athlete’s accomplishment while letting them get on with their day – especially given the conditions.
As a race announcer, I’m all about making that finish line experience as special as I can be.
However, I have my limits.
When I covered Texas private and parochial high school athletics from 1994-2001, I told myself that if I did anything that I was aware of that a young person got a bigger head from my efforts that I would back down or away.
It is fun to see the effect that recognition has on people, especially in a positive sense.
There was a female athlete today whose spouse gets recognized for his abilities day-in and day-out – and they’re certainly well deserved.
Yet, while she had already picked up her award, she, her husband and their two children stayed just long enough to her name announced.
It was cute, but I got it. It is good to be recognized for doing well.
Although, some take it a bit too far.
I won’t mention the individual’s name, their gender nor their place, but simply that they asked me – in the moment – to present their position in an accurate and alternate way simply because “it sounds better that way”.
I was stunned. And didn’t.
In actuality, although I wasn’t thinking on my feet then, I did present it the way that I was asked when the athlete crossed the finish line.
There were so many people that I came into contact with today.
I’m so grateful for those opportunities to interact.
I was especially excited for my daughter to spend time this morning with a couple of teachers who are athletes that were to provide her wisdom – for today – and an ability to call upon – in the immediate future – if she wanted to work in that teacher’s district.
Again, I’m just floored at how well people accept – and trust – my daughter.
I was on-site early this morning – arriving just about 5 a.m.
The first person I saw as I pulled into the Market Street garage before they started to control access to it? My best friend, Bill Dwyer.
It is always good to interact with Bill as we’re able to help each other relax and get ready for a busy morning, given our different sets of responsibilities.
The final thing that I want to share, if you’re still reading, is in the preparation that The Township put in to today’s race from a safety and security standpoint.
As part of the race team, I was shared the race’s Emergency Response Plan.
All 42 pages.
In the post-Las Vegas world, the team was prepared for everything.
I had a woman get upset with me when I asked her to leave the start line area because she had gotten on the inside of the metal fencing before the start of the Kids’ race.
If she’s running with her child, that was one thing, but she wasn’t.
While not likely, she could have been strapped with explosives. If she was and I didn’t take action, would I have been able to deal with knowing that I could have done something to stop it?
Honestly, having read the plan before the race, I was cognizant of the risks after waking and before I left my house, but once I got out there and going, I never really thought about the possibilities.
In hindsight though, I might have been one of the first persons that somebody could have picked off as I’m in front of the start line all the time before the start of the race.
So I’m certainly thankful that I’m able to sit here in my chair, write and share my experiences with you.
I try my best not to take any and all of these moments for granted.
Please don’t stop running races in light of the risks associated, but be vigilant in looking out for your safety and of those around you.
It all can happen in the twinkling of an eye.
I didn’t stumble on a pile of money. No, something much greater actually.
Just a realization of all of the great experiences, opportunities and people that God placed in my path today.
I believe that we let our lives become so busy that we don’t take the opportunity to reflect upon the goodness of life that we sometimes miss in appreciating.
After Waverly and I went to get breakfast at The Egg and I after this morning’s race (Memorial Hermann Ten For Texas in The Woodlands), I came home and napped for a little more than three hours.
It was much needed after a long drive home from Decatur Thursday evening and a busy day of work, preparing to announce today’s race and covering Texas private and parochial high school athletics in the late evening.
However, when I got awake and checked my phone like so many of us do, I saw a post on Facebook from my Mom, who is back in Pennsylvania with my Dad to visit my 92-year-old grandmother, that her brother Fisher had passed away earlier on Saturday afternoon.
As I write, I don’t yet know all of the details, but my Mom is from a family of ten.
Seven of her siblings had passed on before. Well, one of those seven – Tommy – actually nobody is quite sure because the family hadn’t heard from him in decades.
I share this not from sympathy for me – although my Mom and her family’s relatives would certainly covet your prayers, but rather to explain how we believe.
While I have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior – something that I don’t share as much as I need to, and have to make an effort to have the personal relationship with Him, at times, I have questions that could best be interpreted as doubts.
Yet, most of those times, my doubts are put to rest when I see events unfold as I did today.
My parents simply went back to Pennsylvania three Wednesdays ago to visit my grandmother.
However, as they were a day or two from leaving to return this past Wednesday, my grandmother’s heart rate had fallen to 40 and while not in distress, she went to the hospital and was admitted.
They put in a pacemaker, but my parents changed their flight to return this coming Wednesday.
During their first two weeks back, my Mom went to see her brother before he passed today.
I believe that God puts us into positions that we can only explain are as a result of His direction in all of our lives.
While my Mom was there for my grandmother, she was able to see her brother what proved to be one last time before he passed – and had she not gone into the hospital she wouldn’t have been able to be back in our family’s hometown when he did.
Earlier today, I spoke with a fellow endurance sports athlete Peter Bardenhagen near the finish line of today’s race. All of the runners from both the 10-miler and the 5K had left the start line area and were running their races.
It gave us about 20 minutes to carry on a great conversation.
Peter complemented my daughter, Waverly, who when the previously scheduled National Anthem singer didn’t show she stepped up and sang it today so very well.
As I spoke briefly about her, I explained that there was a moment that I realized that Waverly possessed a certain God-given ability to where I had the confidence that she could handle the moment that she did today.
It was of a young woman in our endurance sports community who had a special needs child who passed away more than six years ago before her ninth birthday.
I was friends with that woman at that time and she had asked me to lead her daughter’s memorial service and for Waverly, just a sophomore then, to sing.
I shared with Peter that I saw Waverly step up to the platform in front of a packed chapel of about 300 people, including the young girl’s classmates.
She placed sheet music – on the podium - with notes that had been marked after practicing the song with her Choir Director at Spring High School, as she needed to sing the song in a different key.
And she did so very well, even reaching down – in mid-song – for a tissue (which in the moment I thought she was needing because she became emotional but rather it was) to dab a running nose.
In that moment, I believed that she had a special “it” to be able to handle a pressure situation and perform with such poise.
What I didn’t know is that three years to the day, January 17, 2014, my sister would pass away and Waverly and I would need to perform the same roles in the midst of a storm with our family.
In 2011, we simply believed that God allowed for us to use our talents that He gave to us to comfort and help bring peace to a hurting family and friends, but He was preparing us for a day that we didn’t know soon would come.
It is times like these that we don’t often take the time to give God the glory in those abilities – and opportunities.
Waverly never goes to a race expecting to sing, despite what one race director this year believed.
And, in fact, there have been times – short of a pinch of a situation like today – that she’s either not been interested in singing or she just wasn’t feeling that she could do her best.
I’ve always appreciated her honesty in communicating effectively with me.
Yet we both know, especially with me announcing, that it allows – for a short period of time remaining – for us to share the Gospel in a soft, unobtrusive way with saying, “here to sing our National Anthem, Liberty University graduate Miss Waverly Walk from Spring.”
Many believers know that Liberty University is a Christian university.
Many who do not believe or have not heard the Gospel message may also have never heard of Liberty – and by hearing it today on race day, maybe they’ll see the commercials on TV for the University or Google it online when it crosses their mind.
We have to be willing to be ready to give witness when called upon or put ourselves in a position for God to take and use our effort to reach more for Jesus Christ.
I also had the opportunities to have two meals with my daughter today and we spend this time to reflect and discuss a lot of this – and these types of things.
The one thing that we’re both placed in is situations where people place a lot of trust not just in our abilities, but rather how we handle ourselves.
While, for example, I got paid as part of the race’s budget for the services I provided, The Township staff still places an incredible amount of trust in me to use wisely discern many different situations and to do so extemporaneously.
I’m honored and humbled by the responsibility and trust placed in me.
Because I don’t have to be micro-managed, and am more than just a voice, it frees the team up to handle other situations.
I think people hear my voice on race day and see one thing, but there’s a lot more to what I do.
I was especially pleased that aside from two situations where The Township needed to ensure that the courses were totally clear, we basically got the races started on time and without major issue.
We had to juggle a little bit during the awards today, but let me provide a little bit of a background.
I certainly understand that athletes want to get their awards and go.
I also appreciated that it got hot today too
All of The Township races have an opportunity for a member of the Board of Directors to be represented.
At Muddy Trails back in April and today at Ten For Texas, it was Director Laura Fillault.
We also had the on-site representative from Memorial Hermann The Woodlands Medical Center, Linda Nelson.
While we wanted to get the 5K awards going first, we wanted to make sure that we had a picture opportunity for the sponsor and The Township’s benefit with our 10-Mile overall winners before Laura and Linda departed.
Then we shifted to the 5K awards. We handled the overall, the masters and the grandmasters and were starting to work our way down the list starting with our most experienced athletes first – and there were 10-year age groups instead of five-year.
We had the timer reprint them, but in the meantime, transitioned over to the 10-Mile awards.
It pays to be able to adjust on the fly, keep things moving and to balance between adequately recognizing the athlete’s accomplishment while letting them get on with their day – especially given the conditions.
As a race announcer, I’m all about making that finish line experience as special as I can be.
However, I have my limits.
When I covered Texas private and parochial high school athletics from 1994-2001, I told myself that if I did anything that I was aware of that a young person got a bigger head from my efforts that I would back down or away.
It is fun to see the effect that recognition has on people, especially in a positive sense.
There was a female athlete today whose spouse gets recognized for his abilities day-in and day-out – and they’re certainly well deserved.
Yet, while she had already picked up her award, she, her husband and their two children stayed just long enough to her name announced.
It was cute, but I got it. It is good to be recognized for doing well.
Although, some take it a bit too far.
I won’t mention the individual’s name, their gender nor their place, but simply that they asked me – in the moment – to present their position in an accurate and alternate way simply because “it sounds better that way”.
I was stunned. And didn’t.
In actuality, although I wasn’t thinking on my feet then, I did present it the way that I was asked when the athlete crossed the finish line.
There were so many people that I came into contact with today.
I’m so grateful for those opportunities to interact.
I was especially excited for my daughter to spend time this morning with a couple of teachers who are athletes that were to provide her wisdom – for today – and an ability to call upon – in the immediate future – if she wanted to work in that teacher’s district.
Again, I’m just floored at how well people accept – and trust – my daughter.
I was on-site early this morning – arriving just about 5 a.m.
The first person I saw as I pulled into the Market Street garage before they started to control access to it? My best friend, Bill Dwyer.
It is always good to interact with Bill as we’re able to help each other relax and get ready for a busy morning, given our different sets of responsibilities.
The final thing that I want to share, if you’re still reading, is in the preparation that The Township put in to today’s race from a safety and security standpoint.
As part of the race team, I was shared the race’s Emergency Response Plan.
All 42 pages.
In the post-Las Vegas world, the team was prepared for everything.
I had a woman get upset with me when I asked her to leave the start line area because she had gotten on the inside of the metal fencing before the start of the Kids’ race.
If she’s running with her child, that was one thing, but she wasn’t.
While not likely, she could have been strapped with explosives. If she was and I didn’t take action, would I have been able to deal with knowing that I could have done something to stop it?
Honestly, having read the plan before the race, I was cognizant of the risks after waking and before I left my house, but once I got out there and going, I never really thought about the possibilities.
In hindsight though, I might have been one of the first persons that somebody could have picked off as I’m in front of the start line all the time before the start of the race.
So I’m certainly thankful that I’m able to sit here in my chair, write and share my experiences with you.
I try my best not to take any and all of these moments for granted.
Please don’t stop running races in light of the risks associated, but be vigilant in looking out for your safety and of those around you.
It all can happen in the twinkling of an eye.
Wednesday, September 13, 2017
Punching It Out; September 13, 2017
I keep saying that I want to write more.
I'll just have to force it out in smaller pieces to make sure that I do it.
Just got done putting 45 minutes on the elliptical machine here at the Hampton Inn in Decatur this evening.
Wanted to make it an even hour as I normally do, but the pepperoni calzone from Verona Pizza was just a bit too filling.
I'm looking forward to running the Bismarck Marathon on Saturday.
I haven't covered 26.2 miles (or more) since last December and I'm not running this race because a woman that I know is running it. Ha!
The goal was to run the Nebraska State Fair Marathon three weeks ago for a marathon in my 34th state, which would have made me a bit more ready given that I rarely follow any type of conventional training.
Run another marathon to get ready for the next one is how I used to do it.
My weight is up just a little bit, but nothing terrible.
I raced a pair of 10K's this past weekend that were a few seconds faster on both that I had run on the same weekend two years ago.
Call it progress regardless of the size of the time improvement, right?
Going to Bismarck comes at the expense of me not announcing the Toughest 10K Kemah for the first time -- well, since a long time.
There's a specific reason why I walked away, but at the end of the day what I did and do is a luxury to an event.
You can still get a race started on-time, recognize runners and get the awards done efficiently and quickly -- maybe or maybe not that you can get somebody who can do it as well.
At the end of the day, though, the majority of the runners really, really don't care who does that -- as long as it gets done.
My only disappointment is that I won't be involved in the race being the 2018 RRCA National Championship 10K.
It is a designation that I believed was completely achievable by the race production team and that I pushed the race director to bid on.
I'll take credit for that.
As I've said before, I can't work every race - and, quite honestly, I don't know that I want to anymore.
I'm actually enjoying a lightened load.
I turned in my bid for the Memorial Hermann Ten For Texas with The Woodlands Township Parks and Recreation Department this week.
If nothing's changed, it is a race that I am looking forward to doing for the first time ever.
This has come about as a result of the lack of involvement of one of their long-time sponsors.
I think I've also mentioned that I'm getting back involved with Texas private and parochial high school athletics.
In doing so, I just have to be careful how much time I spend on my butt preparing content to the promotion of the sports and the kids that play them.
I saw the headlines of articles about how sitting for prolonged periods of time could increase the risk of death.
The article recommend getting up and moving every 30 minutes. I pretty much did that today at the office - and intend to stay as active in the future.
Although one item in my life hasn't gone how I had expected it to, I like my life - and I'm thankful for each day God gives me to live it.
I'll just have to force it out in smaller pieces to make sure that I do it.
Just got done putting 45 minutes on the elliptical machine here at the Hampton Inn in Decatur this evening.
Wanted to make it an even hour as I normally do, but the pepperoni calzone from Verona Pizza was just a bit too filling.
I'm looking forward to running the Bismarck Marathon on Saturday.
I haven't covered 26.2 miles (or more) since last December and I'm not running this race because a woman that I know is running it. Ha!
The goal was to run the Nebraska State Fair Marathon three weeks ago for a marathon in my 34th state, which would have made me a bit more ready given that I rarely follow any type of conventional training.
Run another marathon to get ready for the next one is how I used to do it.
My weight is up just a little bit, but nothing terrible.
I raced a pair of 10K's this past weekend that were a few seconds faster on both that I had run on the same weekend two years ago.
Call it progress regardless of the size of the time improvement, right?
Going to Bismarck comes at the expense of me not announcing the Toughest 10K Kemah for the first time -- well, since a long time.
There's a specific reason why I walked away, but at the end of the day what I did and do is a luxury to an event.
You can still get a race started on-time, recognize runners and get the awards done efficiently and quickly -- maybe or maybe not that you can get somebody who can do it as well.
At the end of the day, though, the majority of the runners really, really don't care who does that -- as long as it gets done.
My only disappointment is that I won't be involved in the race being the 2018 RRCA National Championship 10K.
It is a designation that I believed was completely achievable by the race production team and that I pushed the race director to bid on.
I'll take credit for that.
As I've said before, I can't work every race - and, quite honestly, I don't know that I want to anymore.
I'm actually enjoying a lightened load.
I turned in my bid for the Memorial Hermann Ten For Texas with The Woodlands Township Parks and Recreation Department this week.
If nothing's changed, it is a race that I am looking forward to doing for the first time ever.
This has come about as a result of the lack of involvement of one of their long-time sponsors.
I think I've also mentioned that I'm getting back involved with Texas private and parochial high school athletics.
In doing so, I just have to be careful how much time I spend on my butt preparing content to the promotion of the sports and the kids that play them.
I saw the headlines of articles about how sitting for prolonged periods of time could increase the risk of death.
The article recommend getting up and moving every 30 minutes. I pretty much did that today at the office - and intend to stay as active in the future.
Although one item in my life hasn't gone how I had expected it to, I like my life - and I'm thankful for each day God gives me to live it.
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
Managing Awkward; July 5, 2017
The bottom line is: I have no idea how the person that I blocked last week really feels.
The most bizarre thing, however, happened on Monday.
The Monday before I had sent a text to her noting that I had updated her last name in the some of the race's pre-race materials, which recognizes runners who have run the race every year or multiple years.
She also had registered on the Fourth of July last year for this year. She was still married then.
So the text included a reminder in case she wanted the results to be accurate on race day.
I didn't see or hear anything back.
No "thanks for the reminder" or any indication that she was upset that I reminded her.
I really try to stay out of other's business, but one of the earliest communications in January was a remark about how "her tribe would find her" now in the results with the name change.
So I knew at one point it was on her mind (or she used it for me to flatter her because she knew that for one race director's race I had all of the data).
At 1:50 p.m., I received a "Like" of the text. (I later learned from my daughter that it is a newer feature of the iPhone - people can just like your text.)
Which with this individual, it seems to be their way of shutting down a conversation.
At 2:02 p.m., my race director received an e-mail from her to have the last name changed in the registration and/or the results.
He forwarded it to me and the timer at 6:50 p.m.
But the fact that a week later you finally decide to like my text ... why?
There was no need to, unless you wanted to get in my head. And if so, you succeeded.
You could have just come, though, and seen me on race day and said "thanks for the reminder" in person.
Just because I block somebody on social media doesn't mean that I never, ever want to communicate with them.
It is just in matters of the heart, I want it to be in person and I don't want to be confused by other things that I see.
Race day came yesterday.
I didn't expect much. I figured she's aware of the block on Facebook and she might have stumbled upon the previous entry.
Actually, I don't recall how much communication I had with her before she came up and asked for a picture at races in both October and November.
Must have been some.
I had even seen some pictures here in the last day or two from when she and her now ex-husband were married six years ago. They ran the race as bride and groom.
I believe my race director pointed them out to announce because I didn't know either of them then.
I was busy, though, before the race, but I still say Hi! to people as much as I can.
When I called for clubs to get their pre-race team photo in front of the finish line, it was then that I saw her go to one of them. (A later inspection today in somebody's album, I saw that she was standing by her ex-husband.)
The race starts and finishes in different locations. So as soon as we get started, I have certain equipment to break down and go to the finish line location which is about a half mile away.
I generally know about when she'll finish.
So when her name came up on the screen, it was her former name! I was thinking, "Crap, they didn't get it changed in time!"
I immediately, thought, "Well, I'm going with the current name." And I did and I did it as professionally as I had on Saturday and every other time I've called her name.
Who ran her in for the second race in 16 days? Her ex-husband.
She still had some friends that were going to be finishing behind her. I wasn't surprised then to see her come back past the finish line to either go help run them in or cheer them on.
She did go down the other side of the street from the side I was announcing from.
There was a couple that I know she knows pretty well that finished, then a gentleman that walks more than he runs, I believe, and the female friend that she went to New Orleans with that one weekend.
I think I told her, "Good job" and said her name and she said, "Thanks, Jon."
The organization that I announce for is a 501(c)(3) and they have a Board of Directors. One of the Board members relieves me on the microphone when I leave to go and announce the awards.
So she had the friend that was walking in come with her, and with her phone, to get a picture of her and the Board member, who was standing immediately to the left.
I was still working at that point, but, honestly, my awkward flag was flying really, really high in that she would want to get a picture with me.
So I might have turned to the right a little bit towards the laptop that was showing the names of runners on the screen.
But her friend looked at me interestingly when she kind of bolted stage left.
I don't know if he 1.) was surprised that she didn't take a picture with me or all three of us together or 2.) was told that she was also going to take one with me and that changed.
I was going to engage via text yesterday and even today, but I'm deciding not to.
I think my biggest fear is that I misread the whole situation from immediately after the birthday party in February.
However, a responsible adult would have given a clear indication that they weren't interested in anything more than a friendship.
I'll just continue to hope that at a future race where I'm announcing and she's running that there can be a friendly and non-awkward face-to-face conversation.
She's my race director's best customer over the years. Literally.
Of the five races that he has put on prior to the start of 2017, where he has picked up three new ones, she had run them 32 times.
My race director would literally shoot me if I resigned.
Something will have to be figured out.
The most bizarre thing, however, happened on Monday.
The Monday before I had sent a text to her noting that I had updated her last name in the some of the race's pre-race materials, which recognizes runners who have run the race every year or multiple years.
She also had registered on the Fourth of July last year for this year. She was still married then.
So the text included a reminder in case she wanted the results to be accurate on race day.
I didn't see or hear anything back.
No "thanks for the reminder" or any indication that she was upset that I reminded her.
I really try to stay out of other's business, but one of the earliest communications in January was a remark about how "her tribe would find her" now in the results with the name change.
So I knew at one point it was on her mind (or she used it for me to flatter her because she knew that for one race director's race I had all of the data).
At 1:50 p.m., I received a "Like" of the text. (I later learned from my daughter that it is a newer feature of the iPhone - people can just like your text.)
Which with this individual, it seems to be their way of shutting down a conversation.
At 2:02 p.m., my race director received an e-mail from her to have the last name changed in the registration and/or the results.
He forwarded it to me and the timer at 6:50 p.m.
But the fact that a week later you finally decide to like my text ... why?
There was no need to, unless you wanted to get in my head. And if so, you succeeded.
You could have just come, though, and seen me on race day and said "thanks for the reminder" in person.
Just because I block somebody on social media doesn't mean that I never, ever want to communicate with them.
It is just in matters of the heart, I want it to be in person and I don't want to be confused by other things that I see.
Race day came yesterday.
I didn't expect much. I figured she's aware of the block on Facebook and she might have stumbled upon the previous entry.
Actually, I don't recall how much communication I had with her before she came up and asked for a picture at races in both October and November.
Must have been some.
I had even seen some pictures here in the last day or two from when she and her now ex-husband were married six years ago. They ran the race as bride and groom.
I believe my race director pointed them out to announce because I didn't know either of them then.
I was busy, though, before the race, but I still say Hi! to people as much as I can.
When I called for clubs to get their pre-race team photo in front of the finish line, it was then that I saw her go to one of them. (A later inspection today in somebody's album, I saw that she was standing by her ex-husband.)
The race starts and finishes in different locations. So as soon as we get started, I have certain equipment to break down and go to the finish line location which is about a half mile away.
I generally know about when she'll finish.
So when her name came up on the screen, it was her former name! I was thinking, "Crap, they didn't get it changed in time!"
I immediately, thought, "Well, I'm going with the current name." And I did and I did it as professionally as I had on Saturday and every other time I've called her name.
Who ran her in for the second race in 16 days? Her ex-husband.
She still had some friends that were going to be finishing behind her. I wasn't surprised then to see her come back past the finish line to either go help run them in or cheer them on.
She did go down the other side of the street from the side I was announcing from.
There was a couple that I know she knows pretty well that finished, then a gentleman that walks more than he runs, I believe, and the female friend that she went to New Orleans with that one weekend.
I think I told her, "Good job" and said her name and she said, "Thanks, Jon."
The organization that I announce for is a 501(c)(3) and they have a Board of Directors. One of the Board members relieves me on the microphone when I leave to go and announce the awards.
So she had the friend that was walking in come with her, and with her phone, to get a picture of her and the Board member, who was standing immediately to the left.
I was still working at that point, but, honestly, my awkward flag was flying really, really high in that she would want to get a picture with me.
So I might have turned to the right a little bit towards the laptop that was showing the names of runners on the screen.
But her friend looked at me interestingly when she kind of bolted stage left.
I don't know if he 1.) was surprised that she didn't take a picture with me or all three of us together or 2.) was told that she was also going to take one with me and that changed.
I was going to engage via text yesterday and even today, but I'm deciding not to.
I think my biggest fear is that I misread the whole situation from immediately after the birthday party in February.
However, a responsible adult would have given a clear indication that they weren't interested in anything more than a friendship.
I'll just continue to hope that at a future race where I'm announcing and she's running that there can be a friendly and non-awkward face-to-face conversation.
She's my race director's best customer over the years. Literally.
Of the five races that he has put on prior to the start of 2017, where he has picked up three new ones, she had run them 32 times.
My race director would literally shoot me if I resigned.
Something will have to be figured out.
Saturday, July 1, 2017
Anatomy Of A Block; July 1, 2017
I really don't like blocking people on social media, specifically Facebook.
Twitter, no big deal. It isn't as commonly used by most and even fewer actually like tweets as they do on Facebook.
Instagram, I just post pictures of interesting things that I see or places that I'm at.
With their algorithms, I'm not even sure more than a couple of people see things I post as it seems like I only see the posts of about 12 to 15 others.
So back to Facebook.
The latest person that was on the end of a block received it on Tuesday.
I have no clue whether they noticed or not.
I saw the individual at a race today, but it was as they came across the finish line - and they kind of stayed away.
Therefore, I'm suspecting they did. Who really knows, though?
Here's the point, however: Other than a comment on a Facebook post in a Houston area running-related Facebook group, they never, ever initiate any communication.
Unless you consider that they've on four occasions (five, if you count a few years ago) since last October that they come up late in a race and ask for a picture.
The first two, one in October and another in November, I didn't catch on.
And even then, I have no idea what message they were really trying to send.
I have some people that want a picture with me, because I announce races and make people feel special by the way I announce their name when they finish a race.
Once is OK.
More than that, then you begin to wonder the reason why.
I don't mind doing the bulk of the work, but even if you desire a simple friendship: communication has to start freely from both directions.
What's so wrong with a, "Hey, how are you today?" It doesn't mean that you want to get married. Sheesh. It is just being friendly.
We all need really good friends in life. Life is way too short.
It is a long story, all in all, and, honestly, I'm just tired, exhausted of it.
It was just time to move on.
Again, I hated to do it, but I have my mental health and sanity to protect.
I've already positioned to the individual in writing - after attending a birthday party of hers - that I was made to feel that I didn't measure up to them with many things that they shared with me that evening at her house.
When I stated that, there was no compassion from her to say, "I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. I really enjoy communicating with you. How can I address your concerns?"
So what it did was further expanded that feeling of inferiority to them.
I'm perfectly comfortable with me.
I'm simple, and I'm cool with that.
I'm also busy. If you walk in the front door of my house, what you can see is straightened up.
I do that to keep the visual clutter down, which, for me, reduces the stress of things appearing busy.
Behind closed doors, well, that's another story.
I was given a "tour" of this person's house by them when I was there in February. Everything in the house, including, yes, the closets, were totally organized.
So, how am I to feel from that?
I could never, ever bring them here because I couldn't give the same "tour" without spending a good long time straightening every little thing up.
Things aren't unclean, but everything isn't perfectly filed, boxed up, etc.
Oh, I'd love for it to be, but I'm not there. And I have no desire to get there tomorrow.
Again, there's no dialogue to understand where and why I feel that way. Nobody saying, "that's not as big of a deal that you think that it might be."
So I went four months without seeing the individual in person until two weeks ago.
I often get data files from race producers so I can prepare notes to include in my announcing.
I realized that she was going to be at a race that I was announcing in Katy.
I reached out to her via text.
Even though I have the phone number, I've never been given the option to call. In fact, when I was still friends with her on Facebook, there was once an e-card posted that talked about not answering phone calls - and to just text.
I had in the past, but conversations were very limited. They got shut down, by liking a text and not continuing any dialogue.
After the party in February, I had kind of walked away from things. Why?
Two reasons:
1.) Another male was there. (There were many.) After there was a group picture taken of everyone at her party, he went to leave. Since there weren't a lot of people there that I regularly talk to - or even knew, I was having to fend my time for myself. I noticed that he leaned down to kiss her, but she turned it into a hug. That was really odd to me.
2.) Her soon to be ex-husband made a friend request on Facebook as I was standing on the patio outside of her house getting ready to leave. That really freaked me out!
The issue with point number one is that in texts with me she said that "three of us" went to New Orleans to run the Rock 'N' Roll Half Marathon and she mentioned one of the other two, by name. A female. She never mentioned his name.
I only saw later in pictures on her Facebook page that it was a male.
Ah, the same one that leaned down to kiss her.
I had originally received a Facebook invite to the party, but I ignored it for a few days because I couldn't quite ensure that I could make the logistics work with traveling that morning to Galveston to work a marathon.
I'd have to come all the way back to Spring to shower and then 65% of the way back south to attend the party.
However, I received a text from her with an image - almost like an invite card.
She wanted me to come, but why put me into that environment?
That troubled me and, in a way, still does to this day.
So back to two weeks ago.
I never saw her before the race, which I was amazed how she pulled that off because at some point she had to have gone by me to queue up to start the race.
Then again, I didn't see her this morning either, but honestly I wasn't looking very hard.
She and her daughter finished together. I announced the daughter's name first and then hers.
Sometime later, I was still announcing and she came up and got a picture and mentioned a word, "Amazing." I knew what that was about. Or I think I did.
But who took the picture? Her ex-husband. That was really creepy to me. Not him. He's a nice guy. I don't interact with him much though - and who in the world knows what he knows.
I get exes can still be friends, but it - and seeing post-race pictures that he went back out to run with her at some point - really pushed me over the edge to say, "It is time to move on."
I've told her that she's an amazing, smart, talented and accomplished woman, but you have to be open enough to be vulnerable and communicate.
I have. I did on her front porch that night.
It wasn't enough to say, "I never want to communicate with you again."
Because that was never said.
Maybe she'll read this.
Maybe she'll get it.
Maybe not.
When do I get to deal with this again?
Oh, that would be Tuesday.
Both the man in item number one above and her ex-husband will be there running.
Otherwise, working the race that I did today was a complete and total joy.
As I said in my Facebook post, "Always appreciate all who make the effort to say Hi! even though I'm typically pretty busy."
That's very, very true.
Even today, they could have said, "Hey, I don't understand ...."
I would have said, "I'm sorry," and asked to get together to discuss things, but that didn't happen.
#notmyloss
Twitter, no big deal. It isn't as commonly used by most and even fewer actually like tweets as they do on Facebook.
Instagram, I just post pictures of interesting things that I see or places that I'm at.
With their algorithms, I'm not even sure more than a couple of people see things I post as it seems like I only see the posts of about 12 to 15 others.
So back to Facebook.
The latest person that was on the end of a block received it on Tuesday.
I have no clue whether they noticed or not.
I saw the individual at a race today, but it was as they came across the finish line - and they kind of stayed away.
Therefore, I'm suspecting they did. Who really knows, though?
Here's the point, however: Other than a comment on a Facebook post in a Houston area running-related Facebook group, they never, ever initiate any communication.
Unless you consider that they've on four occasions (five, if you count a few years ago) since last October that they come up late in a race and ask for a picture.
The first two, one in October and another in November, I didn't catch on.
And even then, I have no idea what message they were really trying to send.
I have some people that want a picture with me, because I announce races and make people feel special by the way I announce their name when they finish a race.
Once is OK.
More than that, then you begin to wonder the reason why.
I don't mind doing the bulk of the work, but even if you desire a simple friendship: communication has to start freely from both directions.
What's so wrong with a, "Hey, how are you today?" It doesn't mean that you want to get married. Sheesh. It is just being friendly.
We all need really good friends in life. Life is way too short.
It is a long story, all in all, and, honestly, I'm just tired, exhausted of it.
It was just time to move on.
Again, I hated to do it, but I have my mental health and sanity to protect.
I've already positioned to the individual in writing - after attending a birthday party of hers - that I was made to feel that I didn't measure up to them with many things that they shared with me that evening at her house.
When I stated that, there was no compassion from her to say, "I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. I really enjoy communicating with you. How can I address your concerns?"
So what it did was further expanded that feeling of inferiority to them.
I'm perfectly comfortable with me.
I'm simple, and I'm cool with that.
I'm also busy. If you walk in the front door of my house, what you can see is straightened up.
I do that to keep the visual clutter down, which, for me, reduces the stress of things appearing busy.
Behind closed doors, well, that's another story.
I was given a "tour" of this person's house by them when I was there in February. Everything in the house, including, yes, the closets, were totally organized.
So, how am I to feel from that?
I could never, ever bring them here because I couldn't give the same "tour" without spending a good long time straightening every little thing up.
Things aren't unclean, but everything isn't perfectly filed, boxed up, etc.
Oh, I'd love for it to be, but I'm not there. And I have no desire to get there tomorrow.
Again, there's no dialogue to understand where and why I feel that way. Nobody saying, "that's not as big of a deal that you think that it might be."
So I went four months without seeing the individual in person until two weeks ago.
I often get data files from race producers so I can prepare notes to include in my announcing.
I realized that she was going to be at a race that I was announcing in Katy.
I reached out to her via text.
Even though I have the phone number, I've never been given the option to call. In fact, when I was still friends with her on Facebook, there was once an e-card posted that talked about not answering phone calls - and to just text.
I had in the past, but conversations were very limited. They got shut down, by liking a text and not continuing any dialogue.
After the party in February, I had kind of walked away from things. Why?
Two reasons:
1.) Another male was there. (There were many.) After there was a group picture taken of everyone at her party, he went to leave. Since there weren't a lot of people there that I regularly talk to - or even knew, I was having to fend my time for myself. I noticed that he leaned down to kiss her, but she turned it into a hug. That was really odd to me.
2.) Her soon to be ex-husband made a friend request on Facebook as I was standing on the patio outside of her house getting ready to leave. That really freaked me out!
The issue with point number one is that in texts with me she said that "three of us" went to New Orleans to run the Rock 'N' Roll Half Marathon and she mentioned one of the other two, by name. A female. She never mentioned his name.
I only saw later in pictures on her Facebook page that it was a male.
Ah, the same one that leaned down to kiss her.
I had originally received a Facebook invite to the party, but I ignored it for a few days because I couldn't quite ensure that I could make the logistics work with traveling that morning to Galveston to work a marathon.
I'd have to come all the way back to Spring to shower and then 65% of the way back south to attend the party.
However, I received a text from her with an image - almost like an invite card.
She wanted me to come, but why put me into that environment?
That troubled me and, in a way, still does to this day.
So back to two weeks ago.
I never saw her before the race, which I was amazed how she pulled that off because at some point she had to have gone by me to queue up to start the race.
Then again, I didn't see her this morning either, but honestly I wasn't looking very hard.
She and her daughter finished together. I announced the daughter's name first and then hers.
Sometime later, I was still announcing and she came up and got a picture and mentioned a word, "Amazing." I knew what that was about. Or I think I did.
But who took the picture? Her ex-husband. That was really creepy to me. Not him. He's a nice guy. I don't interact with him much though - and who in the world knows what he knows.
I get exes can still be friends, but it - and seeing post-race pictures that he went back out to run with her at some point - really pushed me over the edge to say, "It is time to move on."
I've told her that she's an amazing, smart, talented and accomplished woman, but you have to be open enough to be vulnerable and communicate.
I have. I did on her front porch that night.
It wasn't enough to say, "I never want to communicate with you again."
Because that was never said.
Maybe she'll read this.
Maybe she'll get it.
Maybe not.
When do I get to deal with this again?
Oh, that would be Tuesday.
Both the man in item number one above and her ex-husband will be there running.
Otherwise, working the race that I did today was a complete and total joy.
As I said in my Facebook post, "Always appreciate all who make the effort to say Hi! even though I'm typically pretty busy."
That's very, very true.
Even today, they could have said, "Hey, I don't understand ...."
I would have said, "I'm sorry," and asked to get together to discuss things, but that didn't happen.
#notmyloss
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