It is late Saturday evening and Waverly and I are in Pittsburgh ready to fly home in the morning.
It has been another great vacation.
It is hard to think that one can top another when we've done some neat things over the years (Hawaii, Alaska, Glacier, New York City and so on).
I'm very thankful that everything worked out as well as it did, and that I get the opportunity to spend the kind of time that I do with Waverly.
When I was just a little bit older than her, my Pastor at the time, Bro. John Gross, told me about the value of time and the impact it has on having the attention of kids at church youth camp. He explained to me that the seven (7) days - or 168 hours - is more in volume - and in concentration - than the 1-2 hours per week of Sunday school and church.
I think the same applies for a parent and a child in this situation.
While we drive from place to place on some of our whirlwind adventures, we have the opportunity to share situations that are occuring in our individual lives and I have the chance to share the hopes and desires that I have for her - especially as she heads off to college in less than three weeks now.
In case you weren't paying attention at home, our schedule looked like this:
Sat, July 20 - Fly from Houston to Pittsburgh and drive to Erie.
Sun., July 21 - Run the Presque Isle Half Marathon in Erie and drive to Toronto.
Mon., July 22 - Spend the day in Toronto.
Tue., July 23 - Drive to Ottawa.
Wed., July 24 - Drive to Montreal.
Thu., July 25 - Spend the day in Montreal.
Fri., July 26 - Drive to Tipton, Pennsylvania.
Sat., July 27 - Spend part of the day there and drive to Pittsburgh to fly out.
Parts of nine (9) days. Eight (8) nights. Six (6) different hotels, all Marriott properties I might add. Two border crossings. Two states. Two provinces. Two Halls of Fame (Hockey and the Montreal Canadiens). Two towers (CN in Toronto and Montreal). One CFL game.
It actually isn't - or didn't seem - as crazy as it looks.
We did cover a lot of ground on foot in Toronto, Ottawa and Montreal, though. I'm guessing on Monday that we probably put 13-15 miles on our feet. Easy.
When we visited race director Alan Brookes of the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon in his office in east Toronto late Monday afternoon, we thought about asking for a medal for our performance!
We made a change in plans and saw my grandparents a day earlier than we had planned.
Originally, we were going to drive from Montreal to Toronto, stay at the Renaissance that is at the Rogers Centre, attend the Astros and the Blue Jays game and then get up early, cross the border in Buffalo and then drive in surprise my grandparents.
They are 90 and 88. My thought was: the Astros, the Blue Jays and the Rogers Centre will all still be there in ten years, but my grandparents - and Waverly's great-grandparents - won't (or it would be very unlikely for them to live to be that old.)
Even though we spent about three and a half hours or so both days, it was very quality time and is something that they greatly appreciated - and enjoyed. As did we.
[We also made a run to State College, visited the stores on College Ave. (even buying our first Christmas present), tried to get a picture at the Nittany Lion Statue (but there was construction around it) and ended up getting ice cream at Penn State's Berkey Creamery.]
[And ... we also made it to Texas Hot Dogs at the Park.]
I think Waverly and I figured out that she has been "home" seven or eight times over the past four years. I'm certainly thankful that I have the time and the resources to be able to make sure she gets back to see them as much as she has.
She'll be closer when she goes to Virginia (and Liberty University), but it will be a little bit of a ways for her to drive right now and visit.
I'm very, very blessed, and I try not to ever lose sight of what opportunities that I've been given and that Waverly has been able to experience over her first 18 years of life.
If you're reading this before Sunday morning, please pray that we can get on the earlier flight tomorrow morning so that we won't be rushing to church. Our original flight is scheduled to land at 9:15 a.m., which should give us time to get there before 10:30 a.m. so Waverly can sing on the platform with the Praise Team, but prayers for safety, of course, and free from delays would be greatly appreciated.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Friday, July 19, 2013
On The Cusp of Vacation; July 19, 2013
Vacation.
The word itself generates a smile just thinking about it - even before the planning and the execution of the time spent takes place.
I look forward to this time every summer. It means that Waverly and I get the opportunity to explore some part of the world. Well, North America, for me, thank you.
She's already had a busy summer as she prepares to head off to college at Liberty University (Lynchburg, Virginia) in three to four weeks.
A church missions trip took her to Kenya and Tanzania in early June after her high school graduation, followed by church youth camp at Le Tourneau University in Longview this past week.
We've taken an annual trip pretty much every year since she was in grade school.
It has landed her in 45 or 46 different states, I believe. (Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota and North Dakota have eluded her, but she has British Columbia to her credit.)
If all goes well, she'll be able to add Ontario (Toronto and Ottawa) and Quebec (Montreal) to the mix this week.
We'll fly in and out of Pittsburgh, stop in Erie Saturday night for me to run the Presque Isle Half Marathon there on Sunday and then on to Toronto through Buffalo.
We've been up in the Buffalo area in the past while taking in Niagara Falls many years ago.
That was an epic trip where we flew into La Guardia, drove out there to see the Falls and then hit every northeastern state with the exception of Rhode Island over the course of the week.
The last two summers it has been Hawaii and Alaska. Very thankful to have been able to have the time and resources to be able to make these trips happen.
If you're reading this, please keep us in your prayers as we travel. Just simply for safety.
As I was driving into work on Thursday, I was listening to KSBJ and they were talking about children's most vivid memories were those from summer vacation. Of course, it put a smile on my face - in the midst of a bunch of A.J. Foyt wannabes - to think of all of the great times that we've been able to enjoy.
We keep our schedule pretty fluid.
We have hotels booked in particular cities, but the details we hammer out day to day.
We're also going to try to run each day while we are in the various major cities. Let's hope we succeed.
I'm going to get the opportunity, I hope, to see both a Canadian Football League game Thursday night in Montreal and then a Major League Baseball game - involving the Houston Astros even - on Friday night in Toronto.
It will be my first time back in Canada in six years after working a year and a half in Vancouver, British Columbia, and I'm very much looking forward to the week ahead.
I'll try to blog a little each day. I hope that you'll follow along on the journey.
- Jon
The word itself generates a smile just thinking about it - even before the planning and the execution of the time spent takes place.
I look forward to this time every summer. It means that Waverly and I get the opportunity to explore some part of the world. Well, North America, for me, thank you.
She's already had a busy summer as she prepares to head off to college at Liberty University (Lynchburg, Virginia) in three to four weeks.
A church missions trip took her to Kenya and Tanzania in early June after her high school graduation, followed by church youth camp at Le Tourneau University in Longview this past week.
We've taken an annual trip pretty much every year since she was in grade school.
It has landed her in 45 or 46 different states, I believe. (Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota and North Dakota have eluded her, but she has British Columbia to her credit.)
If all goes well, she'll be able to add Ontario (Toronto and Ottawa) and Quebec (Montreal) to the mix this week.
We'll fly in and out of Pittsburgh, stop in Erie Saturday night for me to run the Presque Isle Half Marathon there on Sunday and then on to Toronto through Buffalo.
We've been up in the Buffalo area in the past while taking in Niagara Falls many years ago.
That was an epic trip where we flew into La Guardia, drove out there to see the Falls and then hit every northeastern state with the exception of Rhode Island over the course of the week.
The last two summers it has been Hawaii and Alaska. Very thankful to have been able to have the time and resources to be able to make these trips happen.
If you're reading this, please keep us in your prayers as we travel. Just simply for safety.
As I was driving into work on Thursday, I was listening to KSBJ and they were talking about children's most vivid memories were those from summer vacation. Of course, it put a smile on my face - in the midst of a bunch of A.J. Foyt wannabes - to think of all of the great times that we've been able to enjoy.
We keep our schedule pretty fluid.
We have hotels booked in particular cities, but the details we hammer out day to day.
We're also going to try to run each day while we are in the various major cities. Let's hope we succeed.
I'm going to get the opportunity, I hope, to see both a Canadian Football League game Thursday night in Montreal and then a Major League Baseball game - involving the Houston Astros even - on Friday night in Toronto.
It will be my first time back in Canada in six years after working a year and a half in Vancouver, British Columbia, and I'm very much looking forward to the week ahead.
I'll try to blog a little each day. I hope that you'll follow along on the journey.
- Jon
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Father's Day Thoughts; June 16, 2013
Happy Father's Day. It was indeed happy, but a bit sad too.
As I've mentioned many times here, my desire is to write more, but it seems like life gets in the way.
However, I enjoy taking the time to document my thoughts, including the struggles and the joys.
I'm a very blessed man, even though there are things that have happened in my life that may indicate failure. I didn't say I was perfect or not, but still - through it all - blessed.
I think what today has taught me is the importance of openly communicating how you feel towards people who take the boldness to do the same unto you.
That seems to be the theme which resonates through the day.
My day started early, as I couldn't sleep. And I haven't been sleeping well this past week with Waverly gone on her missions trip to Kenya and Tanzania, but it isn't because I'm worried about her in any way, shape or form.
Sure, there are many risks, but that is why I trust God and those who are making decisions on my behalf these two weeks while she is gone.
And perhaps that is it -- that I know that I'm not able to fill that role of being ready to meet her needs, regardless of the day or hour. Or maybe God is trying to tell me to take a well-deserved rest.
I'm sure that God will continue to reveal it to me, and draw me away from some of the time that I wasted earlier in the week.
I was able to communicate with a high school classmate very, very early as well as watch a Christian friend of mine from the triathlon community as he was delivering a keynote speech at a major IT conference. I sent him a tweet that I would gladly yield the microphone at a race to him, but just now I also realized why a friend - who lost a loved one about this time two years ago - entrusted him to communicate on their behalf.
A class act and even a classier man who has been supportive and encouraging to me and my daughter while I was villified by a few in a mutual athletic community.
(As I was writing this, at this juncture, I checked my e-mail and I had something in my box that brought together what I just wrote above. Wow.)
I went to church this morning buffeted by online communications expressing my thankfulness of being given the opportunity to be a father as well as receiving public praise from my daughter. Very humbling, yet very thankful.
My parents have had a challenging week and my Dad wasn't able to make it to this morning's service, but my Mom was there. While communicating with Waverly the day before, I asked her to pray for them both.
My prayer and desire for both of them is to put their faith in action with a POSITIVE spirit that only they both can initiate and make happen.
The rest of my day was one of rest and reflection. I took a nap mid-day. Does that mean I'm getting old? I hope not. I don't feel my age.
Reflection, however, in that I feel as if I'm losing one of my best friends.
There's a distance that is coming into play in that relationship, but because of an extenuating circumstance that is in the middle of it that I feel like I need to let things play themselves out.
I saw a family member of theirs in my church this morning getting up from the altar and I stopped - during the invitation - to take the time to pray for this individual as well as the person that is part of that circumstance.
It's all good and I'm just going to give that situation to God and let Him have it.
Twice within the last month with more than one person I've reached out to people and have been very open and heartfelt with no expectations other than an acknowledgement of the communication or perhaps a statement that they understand.
Yet I received neither. Could they have not received those respective communications? Possibly, but I just sense that they have and haven't reached out to attempt to respond to them.
As I shared with a mutual colleague, I'm made to feel on the defensive even though I was the one who reached out to bring clarity to an awkward feeling.
I will stand down and walk away. I will never force anything again with people and, of course, I try here to make sense of it all in a language that is loving and not destructive.
I'm trying to learn from God to be even more patient and reflective, yet there are pangs of loneliness.
However, a Third Day song, "Call My Name", this evening reminded me that He provides me what I need when I need it:
It's been so long since
You felt like you were loved
So what went wrong
But do you know
There's a place where you belong
Here in My Arms
Chorus:
When you feel like you're alone in your sadness
It seems like no one else in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness
You just call My name and I'll be there
You just call My name and I'll be there
The pain inside
Has erased your hope for love
Soon you will find
That I'll give you all
That your heart could ever want
And so much more
Chorus
You just call My name
You just call My name
Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive
Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive
© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
I think one of the greatest things that has helped me the past four months is having the boldness to attend a Third Day concert at Liberty with my daughter.
I can honestly say that I don't think that I've heard any more than 20 country and western songs since then. I've decided to try and fill my head - and heart - with more positive and uplifting music and messages.
Coming back to Waverly, it was such a treat to talk with her one-on-one on Face Time from Tanzania. Wow! She inspires me.
As I shared with a very good friend of mine later in the evening, who has two precious young girls of his own, that it is great knowing that your children are working to pursue God's perfect will in their life.
I actually had the boldness - and I'm sure she understands - to say to her that I didn't "miss" her so to speak because I was so excited for the life she was choosing to live out.
Yet I can't wait to spend hours and hours with her hearing about everything that took place on the trip and for her to decompress all of the things that she has had the opportunity to witness.
I've even encouraged her to blog, in a sense, because I believe that she has - and will in the future - so much to share.
Her heart is incredibly big and I'm so honored to have played a small part in that.
One of the things that I know will sustain me when she is off to college are the praise and worship songs that she has sang at church - as well as the special music. When I hear those songs on the radio, my eyes get moist and my heart wells up in pride.
That one song this evening was Matt Redman's "You Never Let Go". It took me ten minutes to look it up to remember. What's this about short-term memory again?
I'll close with this: it was not lost on me today of those who have either lost their children or their parents, particularly their fathers.
I thought about a number of folks specifically and communicated directly with a couple of those people who had lost a dear loved one in their life.
I'm thankful to have both my father, 66, and grandfather, 90, alive as well as my 18-year-old daughter. To have that makes all else small in the grand scheme of life.
I'm also thankful for those in my life who love me - as family or friend - and make the effort to either reach out and/or reciprocate what love was extended to them from me.
That's being blessed.
As I've mentioned many times here, my desire is to write more, but it seems like life gets in the way.
However, I enjoy taking the time to document my thoughts, including the struggles and the joys.
I'm a very blessed man, even though there are things that have happened in my life that may indicate failure. I didn't say I was perfect or not, but still - through it all - blessed.
I think what today has taught me is the importance of openly communicating how you feel towards people who take the boldness to do the same unto you.
That seems to be the theme which resonates through the day.
My day started early, as I couldn't sleep. And I haven't been sleeping well this past week with Waverly gone on her missions trip to Kenya and Tanzania, but it isn't because I'm worried about her in any way, shape or form.
Sure, there are many risks, but that is why I trust God and those who are making decisions on my behalf these two weeks while she is gone.
And perhaps that is it -- that I know that I'm not able to fill that role of being ready to meet her needs, regardless of the day or hour. Or maybe God is trying to tell me to take a well-deserved rest.
I'm sure that God will continue to reveal it to me, and draw me away from some of the time that I wasted earlier in the week.
I was able to communicate with a high school classmate very, very early as well as watch a Christian friend of mine from the triathlon community as he was delivering a keynote speech at a major IT conference. I sent him a tweet that I would gladly yield the microphone at a race to him, but just now I also realized why a friend - who lost a loved one about this time two years ago - entrusted him to communicate on their behalf.
A class act and even a classier man who has been supportive and encouraging to me and my daughter while I was villified by a few in a mutual athletic community.
(As I was writing this, at this juncture, I checked my e-mail and I had something in my box that brought together what I just wrote above. Wow.)
I went to church this morning buffeted by online communications expressing my thankfulness of being given the opportunity to be a father as well as receiving public praise from my daughter. Very humbling, yet very thankful.
My parents have had a challenging week and my Dad wasn't able to make it to this morning's service, but my Mom was there. While communicating with Waverly the day before, I asked her to pray for them both.
My prayer and desire for both of them is to put their faith in action with a POSITIVE spirit that only they both can initiate and make happen.
The rest of my day was one of rest and reflection. I took a nap mid-day. Does that mean I'm getting old? I hope not. I don't feel my age.
Reflection, however, in that I feel as if I'm losing one of my best friends.
There's a distance that is coming into play in that relationship, but because of an extenuating circumstance that is in the middle of it that I feel like I need to let things play themselves out.
I saw a family member of theirs in my church this morning getting up from the altar and I stopped - during the invitation - to take the time to pray for this individual as well as the person that is part of that circumstance.
It's all good and I'm just going to give that situation to God and let Him have it.
Twice within the last month with more than one person I've reached out to people and have been very open and heartfelt with no expectations other than an acknowledgement of the communication or perhaps a statement that they understand.
Yet I received neither. Could they have not received those respective communications? Possibly, but I just sense that they have and haven't reached out to attempt to respond to them.
As I shared with a mutual colleague, I'm made to feel on the defensive even though I was the one who reached out to bring clarity to an awkward feeling.
I will stand down and walk away. I will never force anything again with people and, of course, I try here to make sense of it all in a language that is loving and not destructive.
I'm trying to learn from God to be even more patient and reflective, yet there are pangs of loneliness.
However, a Third Day song, "Call My Name", this evening reminded me that He provides me what I need when I need it:
It's been so long since
You felt like you were loved
So what went wrong
But do you know
There's a place where you belong
Here in My Arms
Chorus:
When you feel like you're alone in your sadness
It seems like no one else in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness
You just call My name and I'll be there
You just call My name and I'll be there
The pain inside
Has erased your hope for love
Soon you will find
That I'll give you all
That your heart could ever want
And so much more
Chorus
You just call My name
You just call My name
Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive
Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive
© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
I think one of the greatest things that has helped me the past four months is having the boldness to attend a Third Day concert at Liberty with my daughter.
I can honestly say that I don't think that I've heard any more than 20 country and western songs since then. I've decided to try and fill my head - and heart - with more positive and uplifting music and messages.
Coming back to Waverly, it was such a treat to talk with her one-on-one on Face Time from Tanzania. Wow! She inspires me.
As I shared with a very good friend of mine later in the evening, who has two precious young girls of his own, that it is great knowing that your children are working to pursue God's perfect will in their life.
I actually had the boldness - and I'm sure she understands - to say to her that I didn't "miss" her so to speak because I was so excited for the life she was choosing to live out.
Yet I can't wait to spend hours and hours with her hearing about everything that took place on the trip and for her to decompress all of the things that she has had the opportunity to witness.
I've even encouraged her to blog, in a sense, because I believe that she has - and will in the future - so much to share.
Her heart is incredibly big and I'm so honored to have played a small part in that.
One of the things that I know will sustain me when she is off to college are the praise and worship songs that she has sang at church - as well as the special music. When I hear those songs on the radio, my eyes get moist and my heart wells up in pride.
That one song this evening was Matt Redman's "You Never Let Go". It took me ten minutes to look it up to remember. What's this about short-term memory again?
I'll close with this: it was not lost on me today of those who have either lost their children or their parents, particularly their fathers.
I thought about a number of folks specifically and communicated directly with a couple of those people who had lost a dear loved one in their life.
I'm thankful to have both my father, 66, and grandfather, 90, alive as well as my 18-year-old daughter. To have that makes all else small in the grand scheme of life.
I'm also thankful for those in my life who love me - as family or friend - and make the effort to either reach out and/or reciprocate what love was extended to them from me.
That's being blessed.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Sunday Reflections; May 26, 2013
It is quiet here. It is Sunday night and my daughter is at her Mom's parents spending the night.
It is how it is going to be here in three months as she heads off to college.
It is exciting and bittersweet, all at once.
I'm a very simple man. I will not apologize for that. I'm not for everyone - and sometimes I wonder if I'm for anyone - other than my parents and my daughter.
Some days life, emotionally, that is, is pretty challenging.
This weekend, though, has been good.
I had the chance - by race announcing - to support a new race in Montgomery on Saturday morning for a community that continues to mourn the loss of a second sister to a single family.
There were some minor hiccups, but nothing that ruined the spirit of the day.
I got to work with some great partners - the individual who supplied the sound (who has taken care of me at a number of other races and made me sound good) as well as the race timing company.
I believe that we were all able to provide a level of support that the new race director didn't have to worry about.
Today, our church had its graduation ceremony for its high school and college seniors. My daughter was part of that group and she was asked by our Pastor to sing a solo.
She chose Francesca Battistelli's "It's Your Life", which was very fitting, given the day.
It is very satisfying to see how decisions you've made as a father - and where your heart's been led - have influenced your child and their decision-making.
However, I try not to force one day ahead of what she is experiencing today - other than to plan, of course. Which is an appropriate exercise; however, I'm still excited about what God has in store for her in the years to come.
Me? It is going to be a little bit of an adjustment. I certainly have to get stronger and I believe that I have.
I've had to make some recent decisions that may have a reprecussion in a community that I'm a member of, but I can't leave myself unreasonably vulnerable again like I once did.
I once cost myself precious time with my daughter and I can't allow that to happen again.
When I meet people, right or wrong, I consider them a friend and I attempt to extend to them the same type of friendship that I have with my best friends.
Why shouldn't I attempt to give them - or everybody - my best?
Isn't this what God would want for us to do?
Is it risky? Could I get hurt? Yes, on both counts. But at the end of the day, there's absolutely no regrets. I get joy of being able to make that attempt to be everything I could, if they accepted it. And that's the key point: if the other person accepts it.
I had one situation where my daughter asked me, "Dad, why do you keep going back to that situation?" And I think I remember my response to be, "I hate to feel as if I'm giving up on people."
Most people will - and reciprocate it appropriately. A few won't, for whatever reason.
I just don't want this most recent situation to endanger my friendship with the person that knows the most about me short of my daughter.
We'll see. I just have to pray that God takes care of everything. In the meantime, I'll remove myself from some situations and just accept that it is what comes with the territory in trying to bring clarity to a situation that was troubling me.
It seemed that a person was seeking out my friendship perhaps, but when I tried to reach out, verify and act upon it ... I've been met with absolute silence.
Disappointing, for sure. Expected? Yes, kind of.
Without sounding like a braggard, it's their loss. There's a lot of things that I'm not, but I have some admirable qualities about myself that are part of a healthy friendship.
I'll continue to look for ways to serve other people as God wants us to do.
It is how it is going to be here in three months as she heads off to college.
It is exciting and bittersweet, all at once.
I'm a very simple man. I will not apologize for that. I'm not for everyone - and sometimes I wonder if I'm for anyone - other than my parents and my daughter.
Some days life, emotionally, that is, is pretty challenging.
This weekend, though, has been good.
I had the chance - by race announcing - to support a new race in Montgomery on Saturday morning for a community that continues to mourn the loss of a second sister to a single family.
There were some minor hiccups, but nothing that ruined the spirit of the day.
I got to work with some great partners - the individual who supplied the sound (who has taken care of me at a number of other races and made me sound good) as well as the race timing company.
I believe that we were all able to provide a level of support that the new race director didn't have to worry about.
Today, our church had its graduation ceremony for its high school and college seniors. My daughter was part of that group and she was asked by our Pastor to sing a solo.
She chose Francesca Battistelli's "It's Your Life", which was very fitting, given the day.
It is very satisfying to see how decisions you've made as a father - and where your heart's been led - have influenced your child and their decision-making.
However, I try not to force one day ahead of what she is experiencing today - other than to plan, of course. Which is an appropriate exercise; however, I'm still excited about what God has in store for her in the years to come.
Me? It is going to be a little bit of an adjustment. I certainly have to get stronger and I believe that I have.
I've had to make some recent decisions that may have a reprecussion in a community that I'm a member of, but I can't leave myself unreasonably vulnerable again like I once did.
I once cost myself precious time with my daughter and I can't allow that to happen again.
When I meet people, right or wrong, I consider them a friend and I attempt to extend to them the same type of friendship that I have with my best friends.
Why shouldn't I attempt to give them - or everybody - my best?
Isn't this what God would want for us to do?
Is it risky? Could I get hurt? Yes, on both counts. But at the end of the day, there's absolutely no regrets. I get joy of being able to make that attempt to be everything I could, if they accepted it. And that's the key point: if the other person accepts it.
I had one situation where my daughter asked me, "Dad, why do you keep going back to that situation?" And I think I remember my response to be, "I hate to feel as if I'm giving up on people."
Most people will - and reciprocate it appropriately. A few won't, for whatever reason.
I just don't want this most recent situation to endanger my friendship with the person that knows the most about me short of my daughter.
We'll see. I just have to pray that God takes care of everything. In the meantime, I'll remove myself from some situations and just accept that it is what comes with the territory in trying to bring clarity to a situation that was troubling me.
It seemed that a person was seeking out my friendship perhaps, but when I tried to reach out, verify and act upon it ... I've been met with absolute silence.
Disappointing, for sure. Expected? Yes, kind of.
Without sounding like a braggard, it's their loss. There's a lot of things that I'm not, but I have some admirable qualities about myself that are part of a healthy friendship.
I'll continue to look for ways to serve other people as God wants us to do.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Happy Mother's Day; May 12, 2013
Today’s Mother’s Day and I had the opportunity to honor my Mom by being in church with her.
The last time that I remember not being there was totally by accident. I scheduled the Indianapolis Mini-Marathon, which I think was in 2004. It was in the first year or two that I started to run and it, of course, was a new high for me.
It was my fourth half marathon in five months (Houston, Little Rock and Columbus, Ohio being the other three). She understood, often as a Mother does.
She was also there when I had the courage to run my first race – the four-miler at the Houston Marathon more than 10 years ago. My daughter got sick so Mom stayed home with her and like a small child, I wanted my Mom to go with me to ensure that everything would be all right.
It was, of course, and I was able to take in an activity that has brought much into the world of my daughter – physically, emotionally, developmentally and eventually, spiritually.
Back to today … being there with them is the least that I can do, even though I fail daily in other areas in my life. (Things, of course, that generally only God knows about.)
The greatest thing that my Mom gave me is the ability to love.
It is a great ability, and one that I’m thankful for, but what hurts is when that love that I offer to others is rejected or not fully reciprocated. And that love isn’t necessarily a relationship type of love, but one of a deep, meaningful friendship.
Those times are the most sorrowful in my life and I’m thankful that God’s love is what allows me to function from day to day, when those times occur.
The love that my Mom imparted in me is what has allowed me to love my daughter unconditionally, and I’m thankful for it.
My Mom didn’t have a lot materially growing up. Her older sister, who passed on way, way too soon (1990, I think), raised her the last two years before she married my father, and then had me.
I think this is why that I’m generally happy with what I have and that I don’t have to have the next big thing. (Heck, for the moment, I’m still operating with a flip phone. That generated a fun conversation yesterday morning with friends who are runners, but there are other practical folks still around like me.)
While in church this morning, I thought, though, how my Mom hasn’t had her Mom since she was a sophomore in high school – coming up close to 50 years.
I guess there’s one thing that I’m thankful for my parents for having me really, really early is that it is likely that I won’t live that long after she has passed on to have to endure such a loss.
I know that there was one other situation that troubled my Mom today, but it went unspoken although I could see it in her eyes.
It hurt me a little bit too. However, there are things that I can’t control nor do I have complete knowledge of.
I thought of others whose mothers have passed on as well as those who have lost children before their time. Our pastor also asked everyone to pray for those who couldn’t have children – and enjoy that gift from God.
Society, I suppose, says that I shouldn’t be as sensitive as a man as what I am, but I would like to think that it has given me a fighting chance of being a decent father to my daughter.
There are areas that I could have been more Christ-like, and it isn’t that I didn’t have the boldness but that just trying to remain happy and stable over the years – of having love rejected close to home – I loved her with everything I had.
Our pastor’s message today – “How to say, “Are you worth it?” - was the second on parenting and I’m thankful that I believe that I got some of it right.
Introduction: Every child has four basic needs that should be met by their parents – Security, Self-Worth, Significance and Love.
Reality: If they don’t find these at home, they will find them somewhere.
Principle: Boys and girls have these needs fulfilled through one basic question they need answered by their parents. A boy’s question, “Do I have what it takes (to be a man)?” The end result is that “he is looking to impress.” While a girl’s question is, “Am I lovely?” With that she is trying to capture your attention.
Biblical Truth: God’s greatest desire for parents is to raise Godly children.
“Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.” Malachi 2:15 (NLT).
How to Bring Out the Best in Your Kids
Accept their uniqueness. (I Corinthians 12:6; Galatians 6:4)
Affirm their value. (Psalms 139:13-14; Proverbs 12:25)
Correct them without condemning them. (Proverbs 19:18; Proverbs 13:24; Ephesians 6:4, 4:29)
Love them unconditionally. (Ephesians 4:32; I Corinthians 13:7)
Final Thought: More of parenting is caught than taught (meaning that children pick more up of what they see behavior that a parent models as opposed to what a parent teaches a child.)
I would like to think that I was able to provide those four needs and that my daughter only augmented those through her involvement in our church’s youth activities and choir – and didn’t go seek them in the world.
I think the question of whether she knows that from her parents that she is lovely or not is easily answered. She’s lovely inside and out.
I think God’s desire was met, through His will, but that the production of a Godly child was done separately by her parents not together.
I believe that I definitely got the last of the four points correct and that I did the other three reasonably well. I’m sure, though, that I could have improved in those three areas. It is likely that all parents can.
Since I don’t publicize this blog, there are many that will never read it – and actually that’s OK because it is another way for me to try and survive in this world.
I can’t take time to individually wish every Mom out there that I know Happy Mother’s Day and I think – for me – posting a blanket “Happy Mother’s Day” Facebook status would go over like a lead balloon and to some seem insincere.
However, there are those that I wish it was appropriate for me to hope that they have had a good Mother’s Day today because I know how much they love their children – in how much they talk about them without necessarily bragging on them. To me, that speaks volumes.
I'll regret not doing so because I fear that they'll take it the wrong way, but I -- and God -- know(s) what was in my heart.
So all I can do is pray that they’re getting all of their needs met by God through the love of their children. I suppose it is the least that I can do.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Keep Slugging Away; April 25, 2013
Yes, Mr. Anti-Social has become even more so in the last week.
I have kind of gone on a self-imposed social media blackout (as stated earlier) -- with the exception of signing on to either Facebook or Twitter to deliver information that I have a responsibility to for particular clients, such as RAS or TRT.
Otherwise, I just choose not to interact for awhile. I think at times I've become co-dependent (via these mediums) upon (or in) the lives of others -- and in the long run, that isn't healthy.
I believe that I expect people to reciprocate on my terms - and often they can't, won't or don't know (or care) what the expectation that's to be met.
And, of course, the fear is (for me) that people won't; therefore, it is easier to simply remove myself from what I believe to be an even unhealthier situation -- and just focus on taking care of me.
Sounds selfish, but I believe it to be more self-preservation than anything else.
Some of it also emanates from watching what transpired in those mediums (i.e. Facebook and Twitter) as it related to the tragedies in Boston and West, Texas.
There was a lot of great humanity displayed. That's for certain. However, there were a few things that disappointed me too, which was surprisingly disheartening.
Oh well, time to keep slugging away!
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
A Dollar Short; April 23, 2013
Since I've gone into a self-imposed social media blackout, I've really limited my online exposure to checking e-mail and doing the things necessary to support me! :)
It has already proven to be a needed mental break and one I need to figure out how to continue into the future.
Having been gone for most of four days (Friday-Monday), I took the opportunity to take Waverly out to dinner Monday evening.
We went to one of our favorite places to eat, BJ's Brewhouse in Shenandoah.
I think that this time is what I will miss the most when she goes off to school in August at Liberty University.
I think taking - and making - time like this is what has made our father-daughter relationship as special as I believe it is. Some might say it is what I should do regardless. That may be true, but I cherish the time nonetheless.
We had a chance to visit about what was left to transpire during her final six weeks of high school and talked about many things as she continues to prepare for her first semester at Liberty.
It is an exciting time in her life and she's doing an excellent job in planning for those next stages in it.
The exchange with the server, though, was quite interesting, and I didn't get a good vibe from the beginning.
She was one of those that gives you the impression that it is "just a job" to them.
Nonetheless, we were well-waited on even though we didn't have an appetizer, dessert or drinks (not that Waverly can or would - and I can, but don't).
The bill was $26.20 and I gave the server two 20-dollar bills. My plan was once I got change back was to tip the server $5 - more than 20% of the amount before taxes.
When she brought the portfolio back, there was $12.80 in change and not $13.80.
I looked over it for awhile to make sure that a dollar bill didn't slip out somewhere and even had Waverly look at it to be sure that I didn't mess anything up (and that I was counting it right!)
After a minute or two of considering my options, I said to Waverly that I wasn't going to worry over a dollar and that if there was an irregularity that it would be on the server's conscious, not mine.
So I placed my tip ($5, as planned) in the portfolio, closed it and just as I was beginning to move out of the booth, the server asked, "Did I not give you the right change?"
It wasn't, "Is there a problem?" or "You look troubled, 'How can I help?'", but rather the aforementioned question.
I informed her that it was short a dollar. She offered to give it to me, but I refused and we politely left (but also didn't look back).
Maybe I was weak and should have pushed the issue, but it wasn't worth the drama and the uneasiness that went with it even though I know that it was short.
Perhaps it was an honest mistake. And if so, maybe she needed that dollar yesterday more than I did.
It has already proven to be a needed mental break and one I need to figure out how to continue into the future.
Having been gone for most of four days (Friday-Monday), I took the opportunity to take Waverly out to dinner Monday evening.
We went to one of our favorite places to eat, BJ's Brewhouse in Shenandoah.
I think that this time is what I will miss the most when she goes off to school in August at Liberty University.
I think taking - and making - time like this is what has made our father-daughter relationship as special as I believe it is. Some might say it is what I should do regardless. That may be true, but I cherish the time nonetheless.
We had a chance to visit about what was left to transpire during her final six weeks of high school and talked about many things as she continues to prepare for her first semester at Liberty.
It is an exciting time in her life and she's doing an excellent job in planning for those next stages in it.
The exchange with the server, though, was quite interesting, and I didn't get a good vibe from the beginning.
She was one of those that gives you the impression that it is "just a job" to them.
Nonetheless, we were well-waited on even though we didn't have an appetizer, dessert or drinks (not that Waverly can or would - and I can, but don't).
The bill was $26.20 and I gave the server two 20-dollar bills. My plan was once I got change back was to tip the server $5 - more than 20% of the amount before taxes.
When she brought the portfolio back, there was $12.80 in change and not $13.80.
I looked over it for awhile to make sure that a dollar bill didn't slip out somewhere and even had Waverly look at it to be sure that I didn't mess anything up (and that I was counting it right!)
After a minute or two of considering my options, I said to Waverly that I wasn't going to worry over a dollar and that if there was an irregularity that it would be on the server's conscious, not mine.
So I placed my tip ($5, as planned) in the portfolio, closed it and just as I was beginning to move out of the booth, the server asked, "Did I not give you the right change?"
It wasn't, "Is there a problem?" or "You look troubled, 'How can I help?'", but rather the aforementioned question.
I informed her that it was short a dollar. She offered to give it to me, but I refused and we politely left (but also didn't look back).
Maybe I was weak and should have pushed the issue, but it wasn't worth the drama and the uneasiness that went with it even though I know that it was short.
Perhaps it was an honest mistake. And if so, maybe she needed that dollar yesterday more than I did.
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