Tap Out Ten Plus; August 13, 2019

I had a plan for Tuesday evening and in a few short moments it went right out the window.

And I was OK with it, but what was the trigger?

I’m not totally sure.

I had made arrangements - or tried to I should say - to see my daughter’s classroom at her new school.

But I had two work situations that tried to usurp that plan.

I was able to push the one to Wednesday and respond to the “urgent” request for information needed before I got a shower to go to her school.

The visit went well.

I met her partner teacher, got a quick tour of the facility and ended up meeting that teacher’s spouse who was working elsewhere in the building.

I had wanted to go back to the room to take a picture or two to share but got a little bit of a bum’s rush.

I have an understanding why, but it is something she’s going to have to deal with quickly.

I left and found a place on the way to a high school I was going to attend a volleyball game at to get online.

I made sure that I didn’t have any outstanding needs from the information ask and worked on a few other things while passing time.

I think the thing that did it was going into the restroom and seeing that maybe I needed to have my hair cut and looked even older than what I am.

And then I questioned what was going to be achieved by going to that match.

When I couldn’t answer that and didn’t think that I was going to get joy from it that I had intended, I made a u-turn and headed north - taking a route that avoided sitting in traffic at all or too much - to my house.

I remember somebody I know who is a major market radio personality that struggles with depression talk one time about how one change to his diet sent him into a tailspin once.

I don’t believe for me it was diet but it could be some underlying stress with my job situation.

Needless to say, once I got home here, I was in bed by 7 p.m. and slept for two and a half hours.

I penned this extended “Tap Out Ten” to try to make sense and document what I was feeling and dealing with.

Maybe if this helps me or somebody reading it, then I didn’t waste a day that I had expressed yesterday that I didn’t want to do.

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I think part of it, as I’ve picked up my phone here in bed to tap out some more, is that I have to battle through this stuff alone.

At some times, it is scary.

And I wonder where the resolve comes from to keep battling.

I mean I know intellectually that it is God who sustains me, but the margin of error in many people who struggle similarly might not have a large margin of error.