Monday, March 1, 2021

Why'd You Have To Be So Mean; March 1, 2021

I unpublished a lot of posts at the advice of a very good friend who counseled me through a difficult time with another individual that I know.

Their comment was that if they were reading it as an outsider that it seemed petty on both ends.  I don't necessarily disagree, but it is pettiness that I'm having to deal with and respond to.

However, the only thing that gives me relief - mentally - other than blocking the individual on all social media channels (which I think triggers them) - is to get things out in words.

I've done my best to move on from this situation as I requested time to meet with them and told them that I wasn't going to ask and be unanswered a second time.

Saturday, as I was doing pre-race announcements for The Woodlands Marathon 5K, I saw Dan Green - yes, "the" Dan Green - walking towards the finish line down the trolley path and then stop to engage in a short conversation with my daughter.

I didn't fully process it at that point, but I was impressed.  Although, even though Dan jokes around a lot, he and Juris are both class individuals.

It meant even more "today" (Sunday, February 28, even though it is now March 1 that I'm writing this before bed) than it did yesterday.

My daughter said that she appreciated it.

I told her to frame it in the sense that think about all of the people that Dan knows from his involvement in running and coaching since the mid-to-late 1960s, as well as all of the people who say that they know him.

I might have been talking when that was going on.

Maybe shortly thereafter I was engaged in a conversation with Ray Sarno from Huntsville, who is serving as a volunteer for the race.

My daughter was off to my left.

What I didn't know until later - as my back was turned to this individual that I've been having challenges with - is that my daughter said that this individual - as they were running on the trolley path through Town Green Park - watched intently the conversation that I was having.

She also went on to explain that as this individual - Ok, a female - ran by that she tried to wave at her and acknowledge her, but the individual kept on running.

It happened to be that then I noticed who it was and I hollered out, "Faster, runner, faster."

Afterward, I was really in disbelief that they would run by and not stop and say "Hi!"

I was angry and mad, but I wasn't worked up.

My best friend, who coaches the group that this female belongs to, took a picture of my daughter singing the National Anthem before Saturday morning's race.

He shared it with me, which I shared on my Facebook and Instagram pages, but he also posted it with other pictures in his group's secret Facebook group.

My daughter, who is coached by my best friend and is in that Facebook group, said that this female actually liked that picture -- after not taking the time to stop.

In normal circumstances, I would try to reach out to them to find out why or if I was mistaken.

But every potential approach I come up with, given what I've learned about and have experienced with this individual, is fraught with no guarantee of any type of positive outcome.

And one of the negative outcomes is that if I initiate contact - other than the courtesy check two weeks ago during the cold snap, they could easily allege that I was harassing them, which I know is the farthest thing from the truth but without a normal conversation with the person how do you know if that's something they're capable of doing or not.

Therefore, it is best - and presumably the only option at this point - not to play.

I feel like I'm giving up on this person, which is a trait - not wanting to give up on people - that me and my daughter both possess.

However, I think here that the wisest move is not to engage.  This individual exhibits a number of the seven traits that people possess from the Mary Demuth book, "Seven Deadly Friendships".

I asked my daughter if when she meets with the group at 6 a.m. on many Saturdays if this individual ever runs the Waterway - as my daughter does as part of her long runs - and she said "No".  Therefore, you wonder why she chose Saturday (as it was likely to know that I was announcing this year - and would be down there)?

I feel better when I write it out and share it, even though the only person that can change the equation - short of me totally ignoring them - is if that person makes the effort.

I have little to believe that they care enough to do so.

It's a shame.  It is somebody that I used to feel very positive about, but now it is almost as close to being a permanent break as there will ever be.

Although I don't know the reason, I can live with the individual being mad at me, but don't take it out on my daughter.

I would never do that to her two children.  Never, ever.

I offered a good almost four weeks ago to sit down and discuss anywhere and at any time, but they don't care to take any action to resolve.

I guess I just don't understand how somebody can just choose to willfully be mean.

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