I think the other thing that hurts is that you feel like no matter what you did, you were never good enough to earn anything from that individual.
They wanted - and got - your genuine, heartfelt affirmation and praise, and probably fed off of that, but never returned - nor cared to ask or know - what I needed.
Yet I know that people have turned it around to me and have said, "No, they weren't worth being your friend."
I just saw a post by a real friend late on Wednesday evening and I thought to myself that if I really needed something he would be somebody that I could pick up the phone and he would attempt to available immediately.
I guess I desire every connection to have that potential, but of course that's not reality.
I think that's the sad thing about social media. You see people being genuine with others -- or appear to be, yet they can't or won't with you. They won't even see if it is a possibility.
That's what's really a kick in the butt -- and a demoralizer.
Yet again, maybe they're not really worthy of you.
Then why do I chase something that's not healthy for me.
There's probably more than a few people who think that I have it all put together, but even at my age I don't.
I feel like I should be "more" of something, but I don't know if there was anything other than genuine love that I could have more of any material thing that would overcome that need.
Some days are blissfully easy; others really suck.
So just another day of trying to make it through and feel worthy, loved and accomplished -- all at the same time.
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