Keep Slugging Away; April 25, 2013

Yes, Mr. Anti-Social has become even more so in the last week.

I have kind of gone on a self-imposed social media blackout (as stated earlier) -- with the exception of signing on to either Facebook or Twitter to deliver information that I have a responsibility to for particular clients, such as RAS or TRT.

Otherwise, I just choose not to interact for awhile.  I think at times I've become co-dependent (via these mediums) upon (or in) the lives of others -- and in the long run, that isn't healthy.

I believe that I expect people to reciprocate on my terms - and often they can't, won't or don't know (or care) what the expectation that's to be met.

And, of course, the fear is (for me) that people won't; therefore, it is easier to simply remove myself from what I believe to be an even unhealthier situation -- and just focus on taking care of me.

Sounds selfish, but I believe it to be more self-preservation than anything else.

Some of it also emanates from watching what transpired in those mediums (i.e. Facebook and Twitter) as it related to the tragedies in Boston and West, Texas.

There was a lot of great humanity displayed.  That's for certain.  However, there were a few things that disappointed me too, which was surprisingly disheartening.

Oh well, time to keep slugging away!

A Dollar Short; April 23, 2013

Since I've gone into a self-imposed social media blackout, I've really limited my online exposure to checking e-mail and doing the things necessary to support me!  :) 

It has already proven to be a needed mental break and one I need to figure out how to continue into the future.

Having been gone for most of four days (Friday-Monday), I took the opportunity to take Waverly out to dinner Monday evening.

We went to one of our favorite places to eat, BJ's Brewhouse in Shenandoah. 

I think that this time is what I will miss the most when she goes off to school in August at Liberty University.

I think taking - and making - time like this is what has made our father-daughter relationship as special as I believe it is.  Some might say it is what I should do regardless.  That may be true, but I cherish the time nonetheless.

We had a chance to visit about what was left to transpire during her final six weeks of high school and talked about many things as she continues to prepare for her first semester at Liberty. 

It is an exciting time in her life and she's doing an excellent job in planning for those next stages in it.

The exchange with the server, though, was quite interesting, and I didn't get a good vibe from the beginning.

She was one of those that gives you the impression that it is "just a job" to them. 

Nonetheless, we were well-waited on even though we didn't have an appetizer, dessert or drinks (not that Waverly can or would - and I can, but don't).

The bill was $26.20 and I gave the server two 20-dollar bills.  My plan was once I got change back was to tip the server $5 - more than 20% of the amount before taxes.

When she brought the portfolio back, there was $12.80 in change and not $13.80. 

I looked over it for awhile to make sure that a dollar bill didn't slip out somewhere and even had Waverly look at it to be sure that I didn't mess anything up (and that I was counting it right!)

After a minute or two of considering my options, I said to Waverly that I wasn't going to worry over a dollar and that if there was an irregularity that it would be on the server's conscious, not mine. 

So I placed my tip ($5, as planned) in the portfolio, closed it and just as I was beginning to move out of the booth, the server asked, "Did I not give you the right change?"

It wasn't, "Is there a problem?" or "You look troubled, 'How can I help?'", but rather the aforementioned question.

I informed her that it was short a dollar.  She offered to give it to me, but I refused and we politely left (but also didn't look back). 

Maybe I was weak and should have pushed the issue, but it wasn't worth the drama and the uneasiness that went with it even though I know that it was short.

Perhaps it was an honest mistake.  And if so, maybe she needed that dollar yesterday more than I did.

Social Media Timeout ... Again; April 22, 2013

Although it doesn't tell everything, social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) can tell a lot about a person. 

Yes, me included.

The biggest challenges that I encounter, especially on Facebook, are the associations that people have. 

And based on some encounters I've had with just one or two people (maybe throw in a third), Facebook, without even making a concerted effort, yields a road map of exactly 1.) who you can and can't trust and 2.) who else you need to distance yourself from - and why.

The thing is:  None of this will ever change.  And honestly, there's nothing that I can do about it.

So what am I to do?  Unplug for awhile, and as often as necessary to maintain a level of sanity.

So I'll try it again and see if the outcomes are any better.

Bumping Off Twitter; March 12, 2013

Yes, I just went ahead and deactivated the Twitter feed as I suggested that I might.

I had thrown some general, open-ended questions out there to maybe drive a little discussion.  Nothing.  The birds are still chirping.

I don't want to just be known for what interesting information I can come up and publish.  I've actually felt that for a long time.

While I might be a very simple person, if people can't make an effort to relate on more than that then maybe there are some situations with particular people that need reconsideration.

I guess I just didn't recall signing up to be in a fishbowl, and, at the same time, I wasn't comfortable with people just lurking out there and me knowing who they are.  Like I said, I normally didn't look to see who was following me, but the last couple of additions left me rattled a little bit.

I could have "bumped" them off, but that just starts all kinds of talk about me - which is something I don't want.

Even though my Facebook page and Twitter account is wide-open, if somebody is going to check it out without engaging me, don't friend or follow me.  Please, that is.

It is all tempered, I believe, by a bad situation where it seemed that somebody was quietly and closely watching my status updates.  Especially when I received a note that said, "I was just worried about you, and missed reading your posts on FB."  Then, and in the end, they never really engaged much to a level of friendship beyond that.

And it isn't something that I want to invest energy into again and have similar results. 

Maybe a flawed approach, but it is safer - emotionally - to find something - as opposed to somebody - to throw myself into then as opposed to trying to deal with people that can't or won't engage.

Facebook vs. Twitter; March 4, 2013

“Facebook is where you find the people you know.  Twitter is where you find the people you should know.”

I heard this said – or something very similar – this past Saturday afternoon. 

Or rather put, the latter may also be – as I read in an article where I found that quote above – “to follow people you find interesting or have the same interests as you”.

There was a time, under another handle (my original @walksports), that I used it to “anonymously” vent to respond to and deal with some hurts that I believed had been levied against me. 

That was, of course, a major, major mistake. 

Now I do much, much less of that, because the individuals who caused the hurt have gone away, but it still makes me curious why people choose to follow me there.

I guess the reason that I’m even writing about this is because somebody that I know in person – but not too well – started to follow me on Twitter Sunday evening (after being around them in person two consecutive days a little bit more than before), but did not send a friend request on Facebook (which is really OK).

And it was that same person, when speaking directly to somebody that I consider a friend, who referred to the quote above.

So is it that you can look inside somebody’s fishbowl on Twitter and not become emotionally attached, but with Facebook it is as if you’re addicted – hanging on their every movement?

Well, maybe not that involved, but you get the idea of the difference between the two.

I kind of know, and this is what the article states, pretty much everyone that is a Facebook friend, but I’d have to look and really see who was following me on Twitter.  The only way I even know sometimes is if I go to the associated e-mail account to see who states that they are starting to follow me.  That is actually how I discovered this individual.

I guess I feel like I’m auditioning to be a friend to this individual, which is a bit odd.

I hope I don’t scare them off. 

Why?  Because I’m actually a little bit more raw – and random – in Twitter.  If I see a funny license plate, I’ll tweet it.  Or a church sign with a funny or thought-provoking message.

My Facebook is just as open, though, as Twitter is.  (In fact, some of my Facebook statuses flow right over to Twitter.)  There might be 1 in 1,000 status updates, etc. that is hidden to “friends” or “friends of friends”.

In closing, I will say this about Twitter:  I typically get more useful information from Twitter than I do Facebook these days, but it seems I follow much more on Twitter and therefore don’t get to everything that I want to see.

And the things that I post there are more flippant whereas I post with intention on Facebook.

Cautiously Excited Father; February 17, 2013

I can't begin to describe what an humbling feeling it is to see the incredible growth a beautiful young woman has had in her life.

I can certainly tell you that I've been the one that has been blessed -- and I'm the one that is supposed to be leading her.

I remember a time not too long ago -- just less than five years ago -- when Waverly shied away from singing the National Anthem.

This was in the middle of nowhere (figuratively, of course) in Groveton, Texas at a marathon and half marathon that numbered no more than 300 participants.

She had sang it once before in October 2007 at the Huntsville Half Marathon, when she was a sixth grader.

Since then, as many of you know, she has performed the Anthem countless time in crowds numbering five to six thousand and has done so flawlessly.

So I am just in awe - as her father - that she will put herself out there in front of a skilled evaluator and audition for one of Liberty University's Ministry Teams on Friday when I travel with her to for me to take a look at the campus in Virginia.

Even though I'm not looking too forward to August 14, 2013, the day I have to leave her there, I know in my heart - and I truly believe - that this is where God wants Waverly to be.

My prayer is that, regardless of the outcome, God will continue to show her exactly where she needs to be to accomplish His perfect will for her life.

Please keep her in your prayers that she settle on a song that she's comfortable with and that she enjoys singing -- and that she'll walk away from the audition with a positive experience to continue to learn and grow from.

Spring, Texas; January 22, 2013

It has been awhile since I've been out here.  Life has gotten in the way a little bit.  So back to making an effort to reflect and challenge myself going forward.

Since the last time I checked in, I've turned a year older.  46.  Can't be all that bad, right?  Let's hope not.  I don't feel it at all, and I'm thankful for that.

As I have mentioned before, this devotional from Tony Dungy, "Uncommon Life:  Daily Challenge", is what I've been using to guide my writings and thought processes.

Today's heading was this:  "Just say a simple, "Yes, I will," or "No, I won't."  Anything beyond this is from the evil one."  Matthew 5:37.

Dungy is talking about honesty in his book, but I read further down in my King James Version Bible to verse 44.

It says, "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;"

That's tough to do, but sometimes it is the only way to combat those feelings of anger and disappointment overwhelm you.

In church this past Sunday, I continue to pray for somebody for what they have experienced in life and asked God to show His love to them.

So an interesting mental sidebar, but back to honesty.

I've struggled with this only in the areas of being fearful and when I think others won't fully understand my actions.

Dungy wrote, "Honesty is a component of a person's character that is remembered far longer than an individual's words, talents, or accomplishments.  All those things can carry a person to a point, but ultimately, without honing that deep core of honest, they will all be for naught."

In the "Uncommon Key", Dungy added, "Being less than honest with others will permanently mark your character if you don't change."

I'll say that there have been a few people that again I didn't think at the moment in time would understand where I was in my life and why I was where I was in that instant that I was communicating with them.  Therefore, I didn't tell the story as it was.

Yes, it was wrong of me.  One I eventually told.  The other I have distanced myself from - and it isn't anything that they've done wrong.  They're a great person and one that I clearly don't measure up to.

This past Saturday, I had lunch with a friend who I think may have had a question in their mind about me personally.  When they had asked me questions in the past, I had answered them truthfully, but very, very narrowly in such a way that they interpreted my life status as one thing because that is actually how I lived my life day to day.

However, the paperwork was something that was still actually different.

Situations in our lives allowed us to spend a little time together getting caught up and in an earlier e-mail communication, I had told them that I wanted to clear up any "grey areas".

I did.  I sat across the table from them, looked them in the eye and told them the truth.

They're more than willing to ask me any question at any time in the future because I have nothing to hide from them, nor do I want to.  I want this individual to trust me the way that they originally did.

As I do with others.

The end of Matthew 5 (verse 48) says, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect."  That's the standard to strive for.

And when we fall short, God gives us another chance - if we choose to exercise it - to be honest with Him in seeking forgiveness for our sin.