I sincerely hope that the effort that I took two days ago to dry up the “supply” to an individual works.
Briefly, after a communication a couple of days after The Woodlands Marathon where they said that there was “nothing to repair” - despite their actions to not allow an open dialogue that any good friendship would have, I have been practicing a “no contact” approach.
I visited my best friend on March 13 as his weekly run group was over one Saturday morning.
My thought before I made it there after running a local grass roots 5K is that she would be gone.
She had reappeared from her vehicle as I approached the area. She avoided me likely thinking I was there to try and force a conversation. I was not.
Without having responded to the Facebook Messenger communication, which left no opportunity for open dialogue, and after additional information was communicated to me, I made a decision to block her on social media platforms as a means of self preservation.
I showed up to run - and perform some administrative duties for the Texas 10 Series - in Huntsville on March 28. I knew that she was there that morning and I avoided her and most of the individuals in my best friend’s group, including not talking with my best friend at all.
Once my responsibilities were complete and after a short conversation with real friends from a running club to our north, I visited the timer, who I’m really good friends with, and then left.
While there I glanced back to where I had been and saw that she was having a conversation with one of those two people and then on the second glance saw that she was looking in my direction.
During the week, I had cleared things up with my best friend. Fortunately he understood what was going on.
After the first weekend of April was complete, I did a results recap, posted it on his blog and Facebook page.
There was an item of personal interest to her that I knew about and I was publicly thanked for it in the midst of another item.
I perceived it, although genuine on the surface, as an attempt to present an image to everybody that we’re great friends.
We’re not.
I didn’t respond.
I will always be a professional as it comes to recognition and praise. In an earlier dialogue in maybe early February when I was "wished well", I said that I would always do what was right when those situations presented themselves in the realm of my community responsibilities (announcing, writing, et. al.)
What I was being thanked for was really just me being doing what was right, even though the information didn’t come freely to me from her and something that I had to use my intuition on and look up.
Another week had passed to this past Sunday at a race in Katy. I didn’t run as I was beat up from my race on Saturday.
She was there.
I continued to create distance and space by me being far away from where she was and I communicated with other individuals.
I didn’t really enjoy the energy from all of that but it was better than two weeks before.
As the race began, I was standing with my best friend and she ran directly toward him and maybe gave him some keys to hold. I didn’t look nor ask and I did not make eye contact as she passed.
I completed the duties I had come to do, had a short conversation with some real friends from that running club to the north and left. I not once looked to see where they were at.
Again, if I’m not allowed to have an open discussion to resolve, for me, the issues that I have, why should I appear to be friendly - which would negate that I had concerns - and maintain any contact.
Yes, it felt (and feels) mean, but I wasn’t given any choice.
So Monday rolls around and they were beginning to update my best friend’s Instagram account.
While I had kept the blog up to date as soon as my best friend had given me results, she had not updated the Instagram since late February.
I wasn’t judging. I likely have way more free time than they do.
There was a picture that I took from Blue Bell on Saturday that she wanted to use that I took. My best friend and I always ask for permission to use pictures so the request was a fair one.
There was a general “hope you are well” and a “I’ve been enjoying reading your posts” and then the ask.
I simply replied that she needed to run the requests for those and in the future to my best friend. I wasn’t trying to put him in the middle, but rather reinforce the “no contact” with her.
She replied, “Will do that. Thanks Jon.”
Did she? No.
She got another picture from one of the other three in the picture and used that one.
Am I upset? No. I don’t care.
But it just proved that the contact wasn’t about the photo, it was an attempt to keep her in the forefront of my mind.
Why on her end? To be mean? Perhaps. I’ll never know without a discussion.
I’ve offered that repeatedly and there’s no desire to do so. So I can’t trust any communication as being sincere.
If I thought there had been a desire to clear the air attached, I’d have given the photo without even thinking twice about it.
It hurts, to be honest.
I really thought this person was beautiful inside with a beautiful soul, but over four months I've learned that I've been wrong. Maybe they are to others, but certainly not to me.
With her knowing that I always thought well of her, back to an e-mail in May 2013, she only did what was necessary to have that feeling coming to her without having anything to offer of real substance in return.
Therefore, it is incumbent on me to chalk it all up as a loss and not engage any further.
I will have to see the individual again in the future but I will continue to not engage.
It is the only way to dry up the supply, which actually makes no sense but why else do/did they continue to reach out.
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